May 31, 2024
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Now here's a problem you might well scratch and claw to call your own: You've got relations lining up at your door, hats in hand, because you've become a millionaire.
But before you wish too hard, keep in mind that life on Easy Street doesn't mean farewell to hard family decisions surrounding entitlement mentality, as a recent episode of "The Ramsey Show" illustrated.
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The story shared by Seth from New Orleans was at least inspirational at the outset. Broke in 2018, he went to hear personal finance expert Dave Ramsey speak at a local church and left fired up. Fast forward to today, Seth claims a combination of thrift, financial savvy and a bit of luck had succeeded to the point where he and his wife were worth $4 million and had a new mortgage-free property.
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"We stopped whining and started working," the 37-year-old explained.
Seth invited his relatives to spend the holidays at his new home and that's when the inevitable questions arose.
"It came out that we had a lot more money than my family had ever thought you could have," he recalled.
And so, the asks began.
Seth was footing the bill for family ice cream trips and was asked to fund a proposed dinner outing. His relatives just assumed good ol' Seth would spring for everything. Then the phone calls came.
"Aunts, uncles, cousins?" an amazed co-host George Kamel asked.
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"Yes, sir, all of the above," Seth replied.
It became, as Seth colorfully put it, a family "hum dig."
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Family piggy bank
Seth's plight illustrates what happens all too commonly to folks who come into wealth, whether by hard work and persistence or a lucky lottery ticket. To be sure, kin will often assume blood is thicker than money, and perhaps rightly so. But that doesn't stop some relations from treating wealthy relatives like objects rather than people: piggy banks, to be precise.
Seth tried to nip things in the bud, gathering the family to deliver some hard talk. He told them his priority was the financial security of his wife and kids. He shared a list of books he read that taught him how to grow wealth and offered to walk anybody through how he did it.
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Alas, his words fell on deaf ears. His family members were apparently upset, envious and not exactly gracious — which, in turn, upset him. Though his family lives close by, communication is now strained.
"It was a lot of guilt and I've been wrestling with it for a couple of months now," Seth said of his decision to hold the line on handouts.
He stood firm even when his brother asked for $10,000 to start a new business.
"This is not Bank of Seth," Kamel joked.
No laughing matter
It's hard to laugh when money — honestly earned and built money — rends the fabric of family.
Kamel praised Seth for his tact and maturity, but warned him that tough conversations are likely to follow before his family gets a clear message on overstepping boundaries, assuming that they do at all.
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"You can't let this generosity turn into a requirement," the co-host told the young millionaire.
Co-host Rachel Cruze echoed Kamel in her support and words of caution regarding how Seth's family may fail to come to terms with his financial success.
"You haven't done anything wrong," Cruze stressed. "It probably, sadly, will create a divide and I wish that wasn't the case. But I feel like they've proven themselves after you set a pretty strong boundary."
She added: "They don't have the maturity to handle this part of your life that you brought them into by sharing this information."
Immaturity, indeed. As Seth said: "They used to make fun of me in the beginning when I said I was going to follow Dave Ramsey's plan. They're, like, 'No, don't do that. You know that's not going to make any money.’"
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Lou Carlozo is a freelance contributor to Moneywise.
