My wedding is in six months. I need a prenup to protect my company. How do I explain that it’s not a trust issue?

Imagine Todd, an entrepreneur who’s spent years building a successful business. He’s responsible for the livelihood of his employees and worries what would happen to them if he were to divorce and could no longer afford to run the company — or lost control of part of it.

As a result, he’s asked his fiancée, Jessica, to sign a prenup. She feels hurt by the suggestion and says he doesn’t trust her. With only six months left until their wedding day, they’re both feeling stressed, and it’s straining their relationship.

Until he met her, Todd was a bachelor. Jessica, on the other hand, is divorced. Even though she is ready for a lifelong commitment to Todd, she felt that way once before, and it ended in heartache. Asking her to sign a prenup is an unwelcome reminder of that.

Prenups benefit both partners — and the marriage

While strong emotions about a prenup are real, they’re often misplaced.

“The perception of prenuptial agreements as merely a tool for planning in case of divorce is not reality,” according to Melissa Sidor, a senior wealth strategist with Wells Fargo Wealth & Investment Management (1).

Rather, they’re an opportunity to understand each other’s financial situation, expectations and values, she said, while “waiting until after you’re married to start having those conversations can be a problem.” (1)

Prenups provide financial protection for both parties, particularly when one or both were previously married or have children from a past relationship. It’s also beneficial for business owners and those who want to protect family wealth (1).

They can also provide protection beyond divorce. For example, the agreement can address how money, assets and debt will be handled in the event of divorce or death, beyond state divorce and inheritance laws. For instance, it can determine which debt (whether pre-existing or acquired during the marriage) will be joint and which will be separate (1).

Todd may benefit by tactfully pointing out to his fiancée that a prenup will allow them to start the marriage with transparency about their finances, since it requires full disclosure of all current assets and debts. This can help them address difficult money questions before they marry and, contrary to common belief, build greater trust in each other.

How to approach the prenup conversation

Prenups are becoming more common. A survey from digital bank Ally found that 30% of Gen Zers said they’d considered signing one before the wedding (2).

But many couples are still hesitant to discuss one, worried it’s a sign of mistrust or doubt about the strength of the relationship.

These are not necessarily going to be easy conversations, writes licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Vivian Oberling for Hello Prenup, an online platform for prenups.

“Even though I truly believe they are beneficial, the conversation is likely to be awkward, emotionally tiring, and sometimes frustrating. So add in some fun after to reconnect,” Oberling suggests (3).

It’s best to start these conversations early in the relationship, possibly even before you’re engaged but are having discussions about marriage. “This is not a one-and-done conversation,” she writes. “Thinking and forcing it to be that will result in a bad experience for you both.”