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Retirement
65-year-old couple getting married on a beach. Rawpixel/Envato

I’m 61, retired and about to get married for the second time. What’s the best way for my new husband and I to split our expenses?

Couples planning to get married should always talk about money before tying the knot, but those conversations become even more critical for later-in-life marriages. Middle aged or later couples often bring separate retirement accounts, adult children and multiple homes into the mix, which can make everyday financial decisions feel much more complicated.

Imagine a couple in their early 60s. She’s 61 with about $600,000 saved for retirement. He’s 63, hoping to retire within two years and has roughly $1.2 million saved. They both own homes about 90 minutes apart and have been splitting time between them since getting married three years ago.

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Now, they’re tired of the back-and-forth and want to buy a home together. But that raises new questions: who pays which bills? Should expenses be split evenly, even though one spouse has significantly more saved for retirement? And how do they ensure their separate children receive the inheritance each parent wants down the line?

Why money decisions matter more in later-life marriages

Late marriages often bring together two fully-formed financial systems. Beyond retirement balances, couples may have different Social Security claiming strategies, pension payout options and risk tolerance when it comes to investing.

One spouse may want to preserve their savings as much as possible, while the other is comfortable drawing down savings or spending more aggressively. Even philosophies around debt, giving money to adult children or supporting aging parents can differ in ways that many couples don't think to discuss until problems arise (1).

Combining their lives requires having difficult conversations about spending habits, retirement plans, insurance and investment portfolios. When couples avoid conversations about how to split shared expenses or manage joint assets, it can undermine trust and derail retirement plans. In some cases, a 50/50 split of household costs might seem fair on paper, but it could disproportionately strain the spouse with less saved for retirement — especially if one partner plans to stop working soon.

Agreeing on who pays what, how rental income is handled and whether expenses are split evenly or proportionally can reduce resentment and increase your financial health. It can also prevent one spouse from unknowingly sacrificing their retirement stability to “keep things simple.”

Couples who are aligned financially are also less likely to make rushed decisions, like selling a home without understanding tax consequences or combining assets in ways that complicate their estates.

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What to consider before getting married later in life

Bringing two different financial plans together requires open communication and a willingness to be flexible, but there is no single right way to do it. Some couples merge everything, others keep everything separate and others fall somewhere in between.

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For couples like the above example, the starting point is clarity. Sit down together and share all account balances, annuities, insurance plans and pensions. Then, make a plan together. That means asking questions like:

  • What is the fairest way to split expenses?
  • If we buy a home together, who will inherit it when we pass?
  • What happens to shared property when one spouse dies?
  • When do we plan to retire, and how does that impact household income?
  • How will large costs like health care, long-term care, or home repairs be handled?
  • What will our respective children get when each partner passes?

Maintaining separate accounts while contributing to a shared household fund works well for most, but how those bills are split can vary. Some couples prefer proportional contributions, where the partner earning more (or with more retirement savings) pays a higher percentage of the bills. Others choose to combine it all. Ultimately, the right choice is the one that reflects your long-term goals and values.

Inheritance planning should also be addressed early. Depending on your situation, that might mean keeping properties separately titled, choosing tenants in common over joint ownership, or each of you setting up a trust (2). Make sure you understand the laws in your state — they can be complex, and if you don't have a will, your estate may not be handled the way you would wish (3).

Taking the time to spell out expectations and goals can help couples protect their retirement security, heirs, and long-term happiness.

Article sources

We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.

MarketWatch (1); Rocket Lawyer (2); Jarvis Law Office (3)

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Danielle Antosz Contributor

Danielle is a personal finance writer based in Ohio. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including Motley Fool and Business Insider. She believes financial literacy key to helping people build a life they love.

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