Jan 2, 2026
Many married couples dream of retiring at the same time, or at least within 12 months of each other. But 62% of them fail to achieve this goal. Instead, they stagger their retirement by at least a year, according to a 2024 Ameriprise study (1).
This gap can create financial and emotional challenges, from differing incomes and faster savings drawdowns to health care confusion and lifestyle friction.
A common mismatch
Jeffrey and Diane Holtaway of Sewell, N.J., offer an example of why retiring at different times can be an issue.
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According to the New York Times, after consulting with a financial advisor, the couple agreed that Jeffrey should step away from his public-health job at the age of 60 while his wife, Diane, continued to work.
“We knew in advance the first years would be kind of tough, that we wouldn’t have a ton of money coming in,” said Diane, 66, who kept her job at Rutgers University to help smooth the transition (2).
But even with all that prep, the switch from two paychecks to one salary and a pension hit harder than they expected.
“It was hard to predict how it makes you feel when you’re living through such a significant change,” said Diane.
To cope, the couple downsized to a smaller home, bought a used car and were more cautious with their day-to-day spending. “The money for eating out, gifts, unexpected car and home repairs, vet bills and travel is where we really had to readjust,” Ms. Holtaway said. “We simply weren’t able to do the things that we were used to doing.”
The Holtaways’ experience isn’t unusual. Cassandra Rupp, a certified financial planner at Vanguard, told the New York Times that even though most couples she worked with think they’ll retire within two to five years of each other, real life can often get in the way of that.
“Sometimes you’ve got a new boss and you don’t like the way your job has transitioned, or there’s a health circumstance, or you’ve been let go,” Ms. Rupp said. “They’re [the couple] able [to] come back to the drawing board and say, ‘Here’s what we originally planned for, and here are the adjustments we need to make. The biggest thing I’ve found that causes conflict with couples is undiscussed assumptions.”
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According to an Ipsos poll, one in three American couples believes that money causes conflict in their relationships (3). Open communication is the key to changing that.
Dr. Megan Ford, a certified financial therapist, told the New York Times that chatting openly about financial matters is crucial, and it should happen well before retirement.
“I always say the earlier the better, if you can manage it,” she said. “We know that financial conflict is a big source of tension for couples. And many couples find themselves in patterns of avoidance, trying to sidestep that tension.”
David and Karen Gerard of Levittown, N.Y., have a different story. Speaking to the New York Times, they said Karen retired from an administrative job in 2021 while David kept working, and that their dynamic has been easy, mainly because Karen is extremely frugal.
“I’m always telling her: ‘It’s OK, you can go shopping. It’s OK to spend money on yourself,’” David said.
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The couple agreed on a staggered approach, built a budget that covers lifestyle spending like travel and kept their spending modest. “We’re not extravagant people, but we’re going to enjoy our children and grandchildren,” he said.
In the meantime, the Holtaways have found their groove, and talking was key. Diane said, “We figured out how to compromise. We talked a lot. That was really important.”
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Planning ahead: How couples can avoid staggered-retirement stress
Couples who thrive in staggered retirement have something in common; they plan early and they plan together.
According to Fidelity, there’s usually one partner who takes the lead with planning, but this can lead to misunderstandings, so planning together is critical (4). Here’s a quick checklist of what needs to be discussed:
- Decide when each partner expects to stop working.
- Map out how you’ll pay the bills as wages change over to pensions or Social Security.
- Choose when each person will claim Social Security or other employer benefits.
- Identify any insurance gaps and plan for how to cover them, and talk about long-term care options (5).
- Build a clear monthly budget and a realistic spending plan that makes sense for your cash flow.
- Talk about travel, hobbies and what you’d like to spend on loved ones.
- Have regular money check-ins with each other to make sure you can adjust based on what life throws at you.
Dr. Ford believes all the preparation will be worthwhile. “The bottom line is it’s never one and done when it comes to money conversations,” she said.
There’s less stress and uncertainty, she added, “when each partner feels they’re on the same team, when the parameters are clear and they have this shared vision of: ‘What’s our new normal going to look like now that I’m in this place and you’re in that place?’”
Retiring at different times doesn’t have to be a source of tension. With the right planning and clear communication, it can help couples protect both their finances and their relationship.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Ameriprise Financial (1); New York Times (2); IPSOS (3); Fidelity (4); AARP (5).
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Jessica is a freelance writer with a professional background in economic development and small business consulting. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Communications and Sociology and is completing her Publishing Certificate.
