Florida man facing ‘lose-lose scenario’ as his wife pushes for her mother to act as their real estate agent, despite being brand new to the game — even Dave Ramsey is speechless

High financial and emotional stakes

Either Wade’s mother-in-law, an inexperienced real estate agent, will be involved in a major financial transaction, increasing risk, or — if Wade and his wife decide not to use her — she’ll be offended.

“Neither one of these choices are good,” Ramsey admitted, describing it as “an absolute lose-lose scenario.”

So far, Wade and his wife haven’t mentioned anything to the mother-in-law.

“We're trying to come to terms together before we even start talking,” he said.

Ramsey praised Wade for having a “very healthy marriage” with clear examples of open communication, then he and co-host Ken Coleman explored possible strategies to deal with the situation at hand.

Coleman asked whether Wade’s mother was signed on with a successful real estate agency and he confirmed she was.

Coleman and Ramsey said that was good news, because it meant Wade’s mother-in-law could co-list the property with a more experienced agent.

With that in mind, Ramsey offered up some options:

• Use Wade’s mother-in-law as a real estate agent but only on the condition that she agrees to a co-list with a top performer in the offer. That way, Wade and his wife would feel confident knowing someone else with extensive real estate experience was involved.
• Use Wade’s mother-in-law as an agent but make it clear to her that it’s for a 90-day trial, and if she is unsuccessful at selling their home in that time, the couple will end the agreement and contract with a new listing agent.
• Do not use Wade’s mother-in-law as a real estate agent and politely explain why they aren’t comfortable working with her for this major financial decision.

“I don’t think there’s a magic wand here,” said Ramsey. “Don't do anything until you and your wife are in solid agreement.”

He even advised writing down the agreement that Wade, his wife and his mother-in-law come to on paper, so they can refer back to their agreement if anything goes wrong down the line.

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How to navigate family dynamics and money

Mixing family and money can get complicated quickly. In this situation, both finances and feelings are at play. And no one wants to damage a relationship over this.

“Dude, this is very sensitive,” Ramsey said.

Regardless of how Wade and his wife move forward, it’s likely going to involve a difficult conversation.

Here are his tips on how to deal with sensitive family discussions around money:

In agreement with your spouse, map out your position before the discussion. That preparation will help you both respectfully stick to the decision you’ve made together through the course of the discussion.

Get a third party involved when it comes time for the discussion, inviting a pastor or another trusted party to help share your decision in a respectful way.

Acknowledge the elephant in the room right away and communicate with honesty and clear boundaries. In this case, the elephant would be the mother-in-law’s new career path and the couple’s upcoming home sale.

Wade and his wife might say something like, “A home purchase and sale is a huge financial step for us, and we feel more comfortable with an experienced real estate professional.”

Try to end the conversation on a positive note by offering other ways to support your family member. For example, Wade and his wife could spread the word about his mother-in-law’s new license.

Although it might be a challenge, it’s important to do what’s best for you and your household on this size of a transaction.