Aug 1, 2025
Jane, a woman from Texas, called into The Ramsey Show looking for ways to help her mom leave an abusive relationship. Her mother and two sisters plan to escape Oregon and move closer to her in Fort Worth.
Jane and her husband want to pave the path for her mother and two sisters: “They’re in a bad situation and they’re trying to get out here to us.”
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She asked if it would be better to help the trio rent a place on their own or potentially buy a bigger house that would allow her family to move in with her for an extended period of time.
Ramsey responded with urgency: “They don’t need to be there another minute.”
Ramsey weighs in
Now that Jane and her husband are in a more stable financial position, she wants to offer the best long-term solution.
“We’ve been offering to take them in, and we’re finally in a position where we can do that better,” said Jane.
Ramsey and co-host Dr. John Delony were clear: safety and separation from the abuser must come first, even before sorting out the perfect housing plan.
“Tell them to get down there this week, and y’all find them a rental property. It’s that simple,” said Ramsey, urging Jane not to delay their move by waiting to buy a home.
Ramsey emphasized that renting a separate place offers the trio both freedom and dignity: a chance to heal, regain independence and start fresh. “It’s good for them in the healing to stand alone and create a sustainable environment,” said Ramsey, “The dignity of that will help heal from abuse.”
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Delony added that finding work soon after relocating would help them reestablish purpose and routine. “It will give them something to go toward,” he said, “not just running from an awful situation and just sitting.”
Ramsey’s advice was firm and urgent: “Tell them to pack their clothes and come to Texas now,” said Ramsey.
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Practical ways to help someone leave an abusive situation
Financial abuse is a common tactic used by abusers. It can include restricting access to money, preventing someone from working, stealing their income or closely monitoring every financial decision. According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases.
Therefore, for many in abusive situations, finances can feel like another barrier to freedom. If you feel the call to help someone climb out of a dark place, offering discreet financial help can start them on their journey to long-term healing.
For example, you might help them get into an apartment by providing the deposit, offering to pay for a hotel room for a couple of weeks while they find a new place to live, or even offering them to stay in your home.
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It might not be a good idea to offer to pay for their housing completely or let them stay with you for the long term. It may be tempting to want to do everything for someone who’s escaped an abusive situation, and while that might be appropriate for a short amount of time, Ramsey and Delony suggested that it’s critical to help them find ways to help themselves on the financial front.
Instead, you could help them set up their finances on a positive trajectory that allows them to stand on their own feet without needing the financial support of anyone, including you.
As you assist someone starting a fresh financial life, the first step often involves them finding a good job. If they aren’t sure where to start, consider providing resources, like helping them find scholarships for an educational pathway to a good career or perhaps pointing them toward job hunting organizations.
Once they have a job, even if it’s not a forever job, they might need your help setting up a bank account or even rely on your recommendation for a financial advisor as they look toward the future.
Jane’s story is a powerful reminder that even when the path forward feels uncertain, safety should always come first. With compassion, practical support and a focus on long-term independence, it’s possible to help loved ones not just escape abuse — but rebuild from it.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available for help at 1-800-799-7233.
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Sarah Sharkey is a personal finance writer who enjoys helping people make optimal financial decisions for their situation. She loves digging into the nitty-gritty details of financial products and money management strategies to root out the good, the bad, and the ugly. Her goal is to help readers find the best course of action for their needs.
