Apr 1, 2025
The death of a family member, even a distant one, can be emotionally difficult. But if your relative has named you executor, you have extra weight on your shoulders.
Being executor — also called a personal representative or administrator in some states — means you’re legally responsible for sorting out your relative’s finances and carrying out their wishes as outlined in their will.
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You have to deal with probate court, distribute assets to beneficiaries and potentially mediate conflicts. All this can feel overwhelming, especially if a family member appointed you executor without your knowledge.
You can refuse the role, but may feel obliged to take it on, especially if there's no other obvious choice for the position.
It’s good to break the job down into discrete steps. Here’s an overview of the key financial responsibilities involved.
Tackling the probate process
First, you need to obtain a copy of your relative's death certificate, which you can get from the funeral home or the county or state where their death occurred.
If you don’t have a copy of the will, obtain one, read it thoroughly and file it in probate court in the county where your relative lived. Notify all beneficiaries of the will’s contents.
It’s common to hire an attorney to handle probate, which is the process of proving a will’s validity in court. If you do hire a lawyer, their legal costs will be covered by proceeds from the estate.
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Probate is essential. You cannot distribute assets from your family member’s estate until the probate process is completed and you’ve settled all debts related to the estate.
This can be a lengthy and complex process, so it’s important to manage beneficiaries’ expectations.
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Sorting out the estate
There are many other duties involved in settling the estate. Copies of your relative’s death certificate will come in handy for these tasks as well.
You must notify government agencies of your family member’s passing. For example, you have to tell the Social Security Administration if your relative received Social Security benefits so monthly payments can be cancelled.
Notify all three credit bureaus — Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion — of your family member’s death to prevent criminals from opening accounts in your relative’s name.
Cancel recurring charges your family member was signed up for, such as cellphone or utility service as well as all their subscriptions.
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And you'll need to settle your loved one's debts, such as outstanding credit card balances or a mortgage.
If your family member owed money to the IRS at the time of their passing, you’ll need to deal with that, too. But you can hire a tax professional to assist. As with legal fees, you won’t have to pay for the tax professional’s fees: those too will come out of the estate.
Transferring assets
There may be some assets that can be transferred to a beneficiary without probate — for example a retirement account or a bank account with a named beneficiary (also known as a TOD, or Transfer on Death, account). And if that beneficiary is you, even better.
It pays to see if your family member had a life insurance policy and who the beneficiary is. If you're not sure how to go about that, you can start with this database.
If you are feeling daunted by executorship, remember that your relative likely appointed you to be their representative because they believed you were up to it as a trustworthy and responsible person. You’re not alone. There are resources and experts to support you.
Finally, as tough as it is, the process might inspire you to focus on your own will and estate, something that is a vital part of all financial planning.
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Maurie Backman has been writing professionally for well over a decade. Since becoming a full-time writer, she's produced thousands of articles on topics ranging from Social Security to investing to real estate.
