Jan 4, 2026
Imagine this scenario: Alice’s 78-year-old mother, Margaret, first moved in with her five years ago. She was still mostly herself, even though she had been diagnosed with dementia.
But as the years have gone on, Margaret’s dementia has worsened. Last year, she was in what doctors call late stage 6 dementia, meaning she often no longer recognized family members, needed help with basic hygiene, and sometimes became scared or angry when confused.
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Alice is now at a crossroads: caring for Margaret at home is no longer safe or sustainable. She’s wandered outside, and Alice and her husband are worried she could hurt herself or endanger others.
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Alice has decided that residential care is the next step. But there’s a big problem: her mother has never signed a power of attorney (POA).
Challenges with elder care for those with dementia
Like many aging parents, Margaret didn’t want to talk about losing her independence, and unfortunately, in this case, it became too late once her dementia set in.
The Alzheimer’s Association stresses the importance of planning ahead when it comes to finances and legal matters when a loved one is diagnosed with dementia. (1)
Without a signed POA for either finances or health care, no one can legally manage Margaret’s money or make medical decisions on her behalf, and it also leaves her vulnerable to elder abuse.
According to the AARP, having a solid POA that’s tailored to the needs of the individual is a crucial document to have as a caregiver. (2)
Even though Margaret has a modest amount of money in the bank with her Social Security and pension income, the bank won’t release funds without her authorization, a valid POA or a court order, so Alice can’t just access her mother’s money.
With assisted care costs averaging from $6,292 to more than $10,000 per month, according to Genworth’s 2024 Cost of Care Survey, that puts families like Alice’s in a tough spot. (3)
When an adult can no longer make sound decisions and hasn’t named an agent under power of attorney, the court can appoint a conservator (or guardian) to handle their affairs.
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A conservator can authorize placement in a memory care facility and manage finances for a person with severe cognitive decline. Usually, it is put in place because the individual became incapacitated without leaving directives, like in the scenario with Alice and her mother.
According to the AARP, a conservatorship can bring some peace of mind because it means that someone is legally in charge of an incapacitated person’s finances and care decisions. But the trade-offs are significant. (4)
Getting one can involve a long court process, and once it’s approved, the conservator takes on a demanding role. Managing another person’s money can mean lots of paperwork, and making tough medical choices for a loved one can take a big emotional toll.
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Options for families in a similar situation
Leaving a person with dementia without care is not only cruel but considered elder abandonment or neglect, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, so it’s simply not an option. (5)
Instead, families can work with local agencies, like the Alzheimer’s Association Helpline, to connect with trained dementia experts, called "care consultants,” who can help guide them through their situation.
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Alice’s family has kept Margaret at home for years, but the in-home care costs, coupled with the emotional load, can quickly become overwhelming.
Families like Alice’s face heartbreaking choices, and they’re not alone. More than seven million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, and their adult children or caregivers are navigating similar legal and financial barriers. (6)
Here are some next steps to consider if you’re in a similar situation:
- Contact an elder law attorney to learn more about a conservatorship petition.
- Gather documentation like medical records, proof of assets, and any prior written wishes.
- Consult a care coordinator or geriatric social worker for placement support.
Planning ahead might not be easy, but it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your loved ones.
Whether your parent is showing early signs of cognitive decline or is still completely independent, consider having the tough conversation sooner rather than later and get the paperwork in place. Because once dementia takes hold, your options can disappear fast.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Alzheimer’s Association (1); AARP (2); Care Scout (3); AARP (4); U.S. Department of Justice (5); Alzheimer’s Association (6).
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Freelance writer with an economic development and consulting background.
