How can women get paid what they’re worth? Stop being so helpful, says Skims co-founder Emma Grede

Now worth an estimated $405 million, according to Forbes (3), Grede is turning that lens inward. In her new book Start With Yourself (4), she challenges what she describes as the "lies" women have been told about work, balance and likability.

"You're going to have discomfort if you live up to your ambition," Grede tells The Wall Street Journal (5). "If you want to get paid what you deserve or make a lot of money, you've got to admit that to yourself."

The early hustle

Grede's perspective on work and ambition took shape early. Raised in East London by a single mother, she was the eldest of four daughters and began working at just 12, taking on a paper route and other jobs while helping care for her younger sisters. She eventually left high school to pursue a career in fashion, working her way through the celebrity and marketing worlds — where she would later meet Jens Grede (6), her husband and now business partner.

She went on to found ITB Worldwide, the influencer marketing agency she sold in 2018. But her drive wasn't rooted in proximity to wealth, it came from a desire to move beyond the life she knew.

"I wanted a different existence," she said (7). "I wanted to be in charge of my happiness."

That mindset continues to shape her approach to leadership. Discomfort, she argues, is part of the job and so is the willingness to make unpopular decisions. For women in particular, Grede pushes back against the expectation to overextend or undervalue their work, encouraging a more direct, transactional approach to business.

The cost of being helpful

Research from Harvard Kennedy School Women and Public Policy Program shows women are significantly more likely to take on "non-promotable tasks" (8) — the kind of work that keeps organizations running but does little to advance the person doing it.

In mixed-gender groups, women were 48% more likely (9) than men to volunteer for these tasks. But in single-gender groups, that gap disappears suggesting the imbalance is driven less by preference and more by expectation.

That doesn't mean every extra task is a bad move.

Steph Wagner, National Director of Women & Wealth at Northern Trust and author of Fly! A Woman's Guide to Financial Freedom and Building a Life You Love, says the decision often comes down to strategy.

"There are times — for anyone, not just women — when taking on additional work without compensation, or even stepping into a role before it's formally yours, can be a strategic decision," she told Moneywise. "Demonstrating your capabilities and proving the value of your work through results can be a powerful way to build credibility, expand relationships, and create opportunities for growth."

Still, the impact of consistently taking on this kind of work can be subtle but cumulative. Time spent on tasks that aren't recognized or rewarded can translate into fewer promotions, slower salary growth and, ultimately, a widening pay gap. In 2024, women earned about 85% of what men earned, according to the Pew Research Center (10).

For Grede, that's exactly the point: being liked at work can come at a cost.

"I don't want to be doing things for free that I don't get paid for," Grede explains. "I'm not saying don't do favors. But you can say, 'This is something I need to charge for, that I need to be rewarded for.'"

How to stop leaving money on the table

Avoiding unpaid or overlooked work isn't always as simple as saying no more often or speaking up in meetings. According to Wagner, the real challenge often comes in making the shift from proving your value to advocating for it.