Jan 4, 2026
During an episode of The Ramsey Show, a caller asked for advice on how she could support her husband while he earned a four-year degree in computer science.
Rachel from Salt Lake City, Utah, explained that her husband wanted to learn to code, but that the family — including the couple’s three kids — was paying for it in a serious way: living on food stamps and barely scraping by (1).
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Finance personality Dave Ramsey expressed incredulity, saying that his company has hired many coders and their programs took much less time.
He also wasn't shy about sharing his opinion, saying, "It’s a bad plan. There’s so much wrong with this plan, it’s unbelievable.”
His response made Rachel cry, saying it was the "best thing" she'd heard in a long time.
Here’s why Ramsey says you shouldn’t "cash out on your family" to pursue your dreams.
Prioritize essentials before chasing your dreams
"You don’t get to put your three kids on food stamps so you can go get your degree.” Ramsey fumed, calling the idea "extremely irresponsible." He also described the whole situation as a "nightmare" rather than a dream.
"Your primary focus on this planet is not to self-actualize and feel good. ‘Oh, I want to live my dream, I want to live my passion.’ Find me a waaambulance,” Ramsey ranted. “Seriously, you go get a job. You feed your freaking kids first, before we talk about your dreams. You work 16 hours a day and make sure everyone is taken care of.”
Instead, Ramsey and co-host Dr. John Delony said that Rachel’s husband should be working full-time, and studying during the evening.
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The family needs a solid budget in place so that they can afford to support the husband’s dreams without living on the poverty line.
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Sort out needs vs. wants
Before pursuing a degree or another large financial goal, it’s critical to be on solid footing when it comes to money.
This couple needs to get honest about what they can afford, and ensure that their needs — feeding their family adequately, paying down debt, and saving for the future — are met before any wants are covered, which includes pursuing higher education.
They should balance their short-term savings goal, paying for the husband’s education, with their longer term goals, such as their children’s education fund and their own retirement savings.
They should also get clear on whether a shorter course on coding could help the husband achieve the same end. Moreover, this dream needs a cost-benefit analysis. Can he make enough money after his coding course to justify their current tight budget?
Computer programming is no longer the gold mine it once was, with the Washington Post reporting that this industry has recorded the worst downturn it has ever seen: more than a quarter of programming jobs have been cut in the last two years (2).
To put his family’s financial future at risk, Rachel’s husband should be clear that there will be a job waiting for him at the end of the line.
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They need to discuss both budgeting and their long-term financial goals as a family.
Their budgeting process should include:
- Tracking their current or previous spending to understand their costs
- Paying down debt and building an emergency fund before saving for education costs
- Determining if they can balance necessities with saving for education costs
- Understanding how much the education will cost, including tuition, materials and other expenses
- Outlining other financial goals, including retirement savings and emergency funds
Their long-term planning discussion should include:
- Discussing their money styles, including whether they tend to be savers or spenders
- Understand the risk tolerance of each spouse and respecting these differences
- Researching their potential future incomes
- Aligning on financial goals for their family, including how they will support their children in adulthood
- Making a list of short and long term goals that they should save for
- Making talking about their money a regular habit
Ultimately, this may be a selfish choice that the husband is framing as something he’s doing “for his family.”
As Ramsey said to Rachel, “you play this [recording] back for him. It won’t be pleasant.”
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
The Ramsey Show (1); The Washington Post (2).
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Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
