I have a friend whose child stole money and incurred debt in her name. Now I’m unsure whether it’s safe to give my kids my Social Security number

Elena was devastated over her friend's mistreatment. Now, she wonders what to do in her own situation. She has two adult children whom she trusts, but isn’t sure whether it is ever safe to share her SSN with anyone, or what she should do about other information like account numbers and passwords. She wonders how to balance preparing for an emergency with financial safety.

How common is financial abuse?

According to a report from the AARP, many victims of financial abuse never come forward because of feelings of embarrassment or shame, making it difficult to know the true extent of this issue (1). The report also suggests that victims may be least likely to come forward when the perpetrator is a relative, perhaps because they don’t want their family member to be prosecuted, or because the victim relies on the family member to care for them.

An FBI report found that Americans aged 60 and over lost nearly $4.9 billion to fraud in 2024 (2). However, the National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA) estimates that only one in 44 cases of financial abuse are reported, and that as many as 1 in 20 older adults may experience some type of financial mistreatment (3).

Financial abuse can include:

• Opening accounts or taking out loans in your name without your consent
• Being coerced into adding authorized users to your accounts
• Using credit cards or taking money from accounts without your knowledge
• Being forced to sign over property or give money or property to another person against your will

According to NAPSA, the mental health impacts of financial abuse can include depression, loss of trust in others, loss of security and feelings of fear, shame, guilt, anger or worthlessness. The financial impacts can include the inability to hire a lawyer, destitution or inability to pay for long-term care and loss of primary residence.

How to protect yourself

Older adults can be vulnerable to financial abuse for a variety of reasons. They are more likely to have significant savings and to own property, which makes their wealth a target, and they are more likely to be less tech savvy, which means they may rely on younger family members to navigate online banking and related services (4).

For this reason, retirees like Elena should take a number of steps to protect themselves. First, organize your financial documents and keep them in a secure place. These should include bank and brokerage statements, life insurance policies, mortgage and credit documents, pension and other retirement benefit information, Social Security payment information, and contact information for doctors, lawyers, accountants or securities professionals. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) also advises keeping a list of passwords and PINs in a separate, safe place. If you have a trusted person, you can tell them where the documents are stored (5).

The CFPB also advises you to distinguish between informal and formal financial caregivers. An informal caregiver can help you on an as-needed basis, while a formal caregiver may be required if you need more than occasional help. This trusted person can also be added to your account by your bank to help you make deposits and withdrawals or write checks, but will not have any ownership of your account.