Jan 16, 2025
There’s an old proverb from Roman poet Quintus Ennius: a friend in need, is a friend indeed. Then there’s Vince Vaughn’s line from The Wedding Crashers: “A friend in need is a pest.”
The former quote is the vibe that Sarah, 31, quickly sought out after she felt a financial pinch.
Advertisement
For years, the 31 year old seemed to have a lot to say about one of her friend’s finances; questioning her choices to splurge on designer handbags, fine dining and luxury vacations.
Thanks for subscribing!
Read the best of Moneywise in 5 minutes or less.
By signing up, you accept Moneywise Terms of Use, Subscription Agreement, and Privacy Policy.
But when Sarah was in a financial pinch, those critiques quickly took a backseat to a much larger ask.
“Sarah faced unexpected expenses and asked to borrow a substantial amount to cover her rent. I was surprised, given her past criticisms of my spending,” a Reddit user, and friend of Sarah’s, wrote.
The anonymous Reddit user, who earns a comfortable living, declined the loan request — a decision her friend quickly labeled selfish and unsupportive. Some mutual friends weighed in, suggesting she should have helped Sarah. But is loaning a friend money in a time of need possible without jeopardizing the friendship?
A ride on the guilt trip merry-go-round
Although the Reddit user faced admonishment for refusing to lend the money, commenters quickly supported her decision.
“Loaning money is the best way to lose a friendship,” one user wrote in the thread.
A LendingTree survey revealed that 31% of those asked had a loved one in debt, with 49% of them lending money to a friend and 26% to a sibling. While common, lending money to a loved one can lead to strained relationships, especially when repayment plans are vague or in Sarah’s case, your friend has previously criticized your spending habits.
Not only has Sarah been critical of the Reddit user’s spending habits in the past, but a separate study by Intuit Credit Karma found that despite financial instability, 38% of Gen Z and 35% of millennials are still willing to put their financial goals on pause for immediate gratification.
In this case, the conflicting values of Sarah and her friend made the loan request more awkward. Sarah might have needed the money due to a job loss, an unexpected expense or even because she splurged on a want rather than a need. Regardless of the reason, moments like this can strain a friendship.
Advertisement
Must Read
- The ultra-rich use these 5 real estate strategies to build wealth while they sleep — you can start with just $100
- Here’s the average income of Americans by age in 2026. Are you keeping up or falling behind?
- Insurance companies profit most from drivers who auto-renew without shopping around. Comparing 100+ quotes takes 2 minutes and costs nothing
Join 250,000+ readers and get Moneywise’s best stories and exclusive interviews first — clear insights curated and delivered weekly. Subscribe now.
Are there other options?
Lending money to a friend can be a sticky wicket, but struggling to make ends meet for many Americans has become commonplace.
Inflation surged to 9.1% in 2022 — the highest level since 1981 — and it was driven by the lingering economic impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. The financial strain was highlighted by a CNN poll, which found that 39% of American adults worried about their family’s finances and making ends meet.
Given these challenges, the Reddit user encouraged Sarah to explore other options, such as budgeting or seeking assistance from other sources. Budgeting, in particular, can be a step toward regaining financial stability. By creating a clear plan of her income and expenses, Sarah can prioritize her essential payments and identify areas where she could cut back.
Consulting a financial adviser can also provide additional support for those feeling overwhelmed. Advisers can help assess your current financial situation, develop a personalized plan and recommend strategies to meet monthly payments without relying on loans from a friend.
You May Also Like
- JP Morgan sees gold hitting $6,000/oz before 2027 — and a Gold IRA lets you hold the physical metal while deferring the tax bill. Get your free guide from Priority Gold
- Dave Ramsey warns nearly 50% of Americans are making 1 big Social Security mistake — here’s what it is and the simple steps to fix it ASAP
- Thanks to Jeff Bezos, you can now become a landlord for as little as $100 — and no, you don't have to deal with tenants or fix freezers. Here's how
- Millionaires under 43 are reshaping investing — just 25% of their portfolios are in stocks. Here’s where their money is going
Victoria Vesovski is a Toronto-based staff reporter at Moneywise covering personal finance, lifestyle and trending news. She holds degrees from the University of Toronto and New York University, and her work has appeared on platforms including Yahoo Finance, MSN Money and Apple News.
