Ohio nurse ‘stupidly’ took out $60K in loans to help her boyfriend, and then they broke up. The Ramsey Show hosts still praised her for this 1 thing

Joslyn in Dayton, Ohio called into The Ramsey Show with a problem: Four years ago she was dating a guy who needed money for his business, but he couldn’t get it because he had bad credit (1). She took out loans totalling nearly $60,000, and he used the money to buy a couple of vehicles and a golf cart.

Fast forward four years. Joslyn is a successful nurse back in Ohio, living with her parents. She’s paid back all but $20,000 of the loans she took out by scrimping and saving, and she plans to get it all paid off as soon as possible. Her ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and he’s stopped sending her money to pay back the money he borrowed. She has a question for Jade Warshaw and Rachel Cruze. Do I have any legal recourse to the money he owes me?

The difference between a moral debt and a legal debt

Why does getting a loan involve contracts and why do credit bureaus exist? Because the promise to repay is all too easily broken. We all know that you should repay someone you owe money. That’s a moral debt. But when it comes time to make sacrifices for the people who gave you a leg up, it’s tempting to rationalize away that moral debt.

Legal debts, however, can be recovered with legal action. Lending money, especially without a written agreement, puts the lender at significant financial risk. Informal loans between friends and family usually lack the protections of bank loans, such as clear terms, collateral or structured repayment plans. That makes it much harder to enforce repayment or even agree on what “paid back” means if something goes wrong.

In a recent survey by LendingTree, 77% of respondents said they’ve lent money to a friend (2). Nearly a third said they didn’t get their money back, and 19% say it affected their friendship negatively. Lending money or taking out a loan for someone you love can feel like an act of trust, but when the relationship ends, you may be left literally paying the price.

Jade and Rachel point out that if Joslyn had bought the vehicles with the loan money she borrowed and kept them in her name, she would be able to at least repossess the vehicles or sue her ex-boyfriend, but when you co-sign or take out a loan in your own name for someone else, you are the one the lender can legally pursue if payments stop.

Unmarried partners also have weaker legal protections. Without a clear written agreement, courts may view the money as a gift rather than a loan, which makes it difficult to recover if the relationship ends. More importantly, advocates who work on financial abuse warn that one partner pressuring the other to take out debt in their name can be a form of control, not a sign of trust or commitment.

Paying the ‘stupid tax’

Rache Cruze said the phrase “stupid tax” was coined on The Ramsey Show and it applies here. She said, “All of us do it, right? Maybe at different dollar amounts … where you look back, and you think ‘that was so stupid and now I'm paying for it.’”

Does Joslyn have a legal case? It's hard to say, but the lack of a legal document or contract laying out the terms makes it difficult for her. She does have text messages that may count as evidence in her favor. Her ex has also wrecked the cars and may not have any money himself. Since the amount she would sue for would likely exceed the small claims limit, which is $6,000 in Ohio, she would have to go the usually more expensive and complicated route of regular court.