Jan 6, 2026
A growing number of young men say they're willing to risk their financial health in the name of romance.
According to a new study by Credit One Bank, 46% of Gen Z and Millennial men say they'd overdraft their bank account to pay for a date. Only 28% of women said the same. (1)
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That pressure to spend comes at a time when the cost of dating is on the rise. A 2025 study from BMO Real Financial Progress Index found that the "all in" price of a date — factoring in things like personal grooming and gas money — is nearly $168. (2)
Over the course of a year, single Americans spend an average of $2,279 searching for love, ABC 7 reported. (3)
With inflation continuing to increase the cost of food, entertainment, and housing, the willingness to take on debt to date underscores how closely tied money and romance have become.
Below, we’ll discuss the importance of financial compatibility in finding a long-term partner, plus offer some tips on balancing your finances to ensure you can cover your needs while also finding room for fun in your budget.
What role does personal finance play in relationships?
Experts say this ‘debt for dating’ trend isn’t simply about poor decision-making — it’s about deeply ingrained expectations around dating and relationships.
“Men overdraft for love because we've been socialized to think financial generosity equals romantic value. It's the modern version of peacock feathers,” Michael Ryan, a finance expert and the founder of MichaelRyanMoney.com, told Newsweek. (4)
Natassia Miller, an AASECT-certified sexologist and former wealth manager, told Newsweek that the gender gap in the survey reflects entrenched social norms: “Men still feel pressure to be financial providers and demonstrate their romantic commitment through spending. Despite evolving gender roles, traditional courtship norms persist.”
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But overspending for romance doesn’t just strain wallets — it can actually harm your relationships. Financial compatibility is one of the most important parts of finding the right partner, and starting out by going into debt for a date doesn’t just risk future money problems, it can set the stage for relationship conflict.
Research shows couples who aren’t aligned on saving, spending, or debt are more likely to argue, and more likely to divorce. Overspending early on may feel like generosity, but over time it can create resentment, hidden financial stress, and even power imbalances in a relationship.
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How to strike the right balance between love and money
Spending money on dating, entertainment, and hobbies is part of enjoying life. But going into debt can have a long-term impact on your ability to reach your financial goals and build a nest egg, not to mention risking divorce if your dating partner becomes your spouse.
When it comes to dating, there are several actionable steps you can take to keep your spending within your budget:
- Make sure needs are covered first: Rent, utilities, groceries, and debt payments should always come before non-essentials like dating or eating out.
- Set a strict dating budget: Know what you can afford to spend each month on social outings, and stick to it.
- Get creative with low-cost dates: Free community events, picnics, or coffee dates can cut costs and allow you to build connections.
While you're dating, be honest about money. You don’t need to share your 401(k) balance on the first date, but talking about broader financial goals like homeownership, and your financial values, can help you find a partner who matches your mindset.
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And these aren’t just lessons for dating — they’re lessons for life. The same habits that prevent you from racking up credit card debt at a restaurant are the ones that help you save for a home, build an emergency fund, or plan for retirement.
Living within your means, setting realistic goals, and being transparent about money are skills that pay off in every area of your financial life.
Ultimately, the willingness to go into debt for love may be a sign of something deeper: the pressure to look successful in a world where appearances are tied to social status.
However, experts warn that financial honesty and balance are what lead to lasting stability.
Finding someone who shares your values around money can protect both your bank account and your relationship in the long run.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Credit One Bank (1); BMO (2); ABC 7 (3); Newsweek (4).
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Danielle is a personal finance writer based in Ohio. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including Motley Fool and Business Insider. She believes financial literacy key to helping people build a life they love.
