Jan 28, 2025
In Sex and the City, Kristin Davis played Charlotte York, the hopeless romantic navigating New York’s dating scene with charm and optimism. But off-screen, Davis admits that reality isn’t quite as glamorous. If anything, love in the real world is far more complicated — and costly.
On her podcast, Are You a Charlotte? Davis opened up to guest Sarah Wynter about what she calls a “horrible mistake.”
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She revealed that she once lent $5,000 to an ex-boyfriend — an “out-of-work actor” struggling to make ends meet — only to be ghosted soon after.
“I was at his house and he had all of these, ‘your electricity’s gonna be turned off,’ like all those notices that you get when you can’t pay your bills,” Davis shared. “And then I think he wrecked his motorcycle, which is like how he got around town to his auditions. And I was like, ‘Can I lend you some money?’”
Lending money to someone you're seeing can be tempting — especially if they're going through a tough time — but you might want to take a page from Davis’s book and err on the side of caution before opening your wallet.
Love and loans
Money issues can make or break even the most promising romance. Before giving your partner a loan, consider why they need the money in the first place. Are they dealing with a temporary setback, like a job loss? Or have they enjoyed one too many indulgent weekends?
Davis wishes she had thought twice before opening her wallet.
“Anyone listening, do not lend anyone money that you are dating,” she warned on her podcast.
For Davis, lending her partner $5,000 felt like the right thing to do as an act of support. But it soon “changed the dynamic” of their relationship. The once-frequent calls eventually stopped altogether.
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As Fidelity’s vice president of education Meredith Stoddard points out, a lot of money conflicts emerge from a lack of communication — of which ghosting would be the extreme version.
Stoddard notes that financial discussions can be intimidating, especially when couples have different priorities or ideas about saving, spending, and investing. Talking about money requires a whole new level of intimacy.
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It comes down to trust
It’s easy to believe that the person you trust with your heart is the same person you can trust with your wallet.
But if you’re going to share your money as well as your time with a romantic partner, you need to know how healthy they are financially. Ask things like:
- How much do you have in emergency savings?
- What are your current financial obligations?
- Are you contributing to a 401(k) or IRA?
- How much debt do you have, and what’s your plan to pay it off?
By initiating these discussions, you’ll gain a clearer picture of your partner’s financial mindset and how you can align your goals moving forward.
Money, much like love, requires more than good intentions. It demands clarity, boundaries, and a shared understanding of what’s at stake. Without clear communication and transparency, financial entanglements can quickly lead to regret.
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Victoria Vesovski is a Toronto-based staff reporter at Moneywise covering personal finance, lifestyle and trending news. She holds degrees from the University of Toronto and New York University, and her work has appeared on platforms including Yahoo Finance, MSN Money and Apple News.
