Hunter, a newlywed husband from Cincinnati, called into The Ramsey Show seeking advice on knocking out debt as a couple.
He explained that while he personally had no debt, his wife had student loans and a car payment. To limit their expenses, they live with their respective parents in different states, seeing each other only on weekends. Their thinking was simple: survive as “weekend warriors” while they eliminate the debt, then move in together and work toward buying a home.
But that plan drew immediate pushback from host Dave Ramsey, who said their financial strategy was undermining their marriage and could slow their progress in the long run.
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“What you’re doing is unbelievably weird,” he said in a clip posted Jan. 7 (1).
What's going on with their finances?
Hunter says his wife has roughly $28,000 in combined student loan and car debt. He works part-time for a friend’s auction business while pursuing professional basketball contracts that pay as little as $1,000 to $3,000 a month. His wife has a full-time job.
He was expecting an overseas basketball contract, which prompted the couple to get married quickly, but the opportunity fell through. Afterward, the couple came up with the idea to stay with their parents as they work toward paying off debt.
Ramsey wasn’t on board with their plan. He argued that marriage requires daily partnership, not just shared financial goals. Living together might help the couple pay off debt faster by creating shared priorities and more consistent budgeting while strengthening the bonds of their relationship.
Living with parents as an adult is increasingly common in the U.S., particularly as housing costs climb and student debt remains high. According to the National Association of Realtors, 17% of homebuyers in 2024 were multigenerational households, up from 14% in 2023. (2)
For single adults, living with family members often means lower expenses, which makes it easier to save and pay off debt. But marriage can complicate things, especially when two people want to grow their own life together.
It should be noted that spouses do not automatically inherit each other’s debt. Generally, unshared debt is the responsibility of the person who incurred it. However, laws may vary by state.
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Tackle debt without undermining your relationship
Here are a few actionable steps the couple above, and anyone else in a similar situation, may want to consider when tackling debt:
- Create a joint budget, even if debts are separate: Seeing all your income and expenses together can help couples prioritize debt payments and avoid “your money vs. my money” thinking.
- Set a realistic payoff goal: Paying off debt faster isn’t always better if it causes burnout or resentment. A slightly longer payoff period may be worth the trade-off if it helps you build a strong relationship.
- Find ways to earn more: If debt payoff is important, look for ways to boost your income. Side hustles, gig work and odd jobs can help boost your income so you can tackle debt faster.
- Set career goals and limits: If one partner is pursuing a volatile or low-paying career path, agree on how long you'll stick with it. Create a fallback plan so both of you feel secure about your financial future.
In the end, Ramsey's advice wasn’t focused solely on finances. His point was that marriage works best when couples approach challenges, including debt, as a team.
Article sources
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The Ramsey Show Highlights (1); National Association of Realtors (2)
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Danielle is a personal finance writer whose work has appeared in publications including Motley Fool and Business Insider. She believes financial literacy key to helping people build a life they love. She’s especially passionate about helping families and kids learn smart money habits early.
