Buffalo woman says her husband secretly cosigned a coworker's car loan, and now they owe $20K. Ramsey Show says the debt is symptom of a bigger issue

At the top of the call, Sharon said she and her husband decided to separate their finances after he racked up credit card debt at the start of their 12-year marriage. Prior to that, the couple was debt-free.

When cohost Ken Coleman asked how much is left on the loan and the value of the car, Sharon said she hadn’t quite gotten to the truth of it, yet, but she guesses they owe roughly $20,000 and that the car is worth around $5,000.

Sharon said she loves her husband dearly and “would love to try to recombine” finances, but she admits that “he’s a bit too much of a nice guy making the wrong decisions.”

Coleman and cohost Jade Warshaw agreed that this problem is about more than just money. “I can look at these numbers,” Warshaw said, “but I don’t think it’s going to solve the problem here today.”

The steep price of financial infidelity

As for the immediate financial situation, Warshaw said the only thing Sharon and her husband can do is get the official records to learn what’s owed and “start stacking up some cash” because there’s no way to avoid paying the deficit.

But the couple’s situation highlights two major financial risks that also need to be dealt with: cosigning loans and financial infidelity.

No matter how trustworthy someone appears to be, cosigning a loan can put way too much stress on the cosigner’s shoulders.

Once someone agrees to one of these loans, they become fully responsible for the debt and have to take a hit on their credit report for any late payments by the primary borrower (2). The loan also raises the cosigner’s debt-to-income ratio, which can make it harder to qualify for future major purchases.

Since your finances get tied to someone else’s behavior, cosigning creates long-term vulnerabilities in cases where the primary borrower doesn’t meet their obligations.

As risky as cosigning is, the deeper issue in this call has to do with trust. Specifically, Sharon’s story highlights the dangers of financial infidelity.

Financial infidelity happens whenever one partner hides or lies about significant financial decisions. Common examples include creating secret bank accounts, not disclosing debt or making major purchases without discussing them.

Interestingly, many Americans agree that financial infidelity is an extreme breach of trust, with 45% of respondents to a Bankrate survey (3) claiming it’s as bad as physical infidelity. However, in this same poll, 40% of Americans say they’re guilty of financial infidelity.

The feelings that financial infidelity can provoke could be intense, and the breach of trust can put a huge strain on the relationship. As Warshaw noted, Sharon, at this point, sounds “like a woman who is almost done.”

Although it’s always best to avoid this situation, there are ways couples dealing with this issue can rebuild and recommit.

Moving forward after financial infidelity

Overcoming financial infidelity requires equal parts honesty and accountability. The best way to start cleaning up this situation is to get rid of secrets by openly sharing all accounts, recurring expenses and financial commitments — full transparency.

Once everything is on the table, couples need a way to talk through what happened so they can understand what needs to change. Since these conversations can be uncomfortable and heated, it’s often a good time to bring in a neutral third party, such as a marriage counselor, to help facilitate, said Warshaw.

“Helping you see, here’s what caused the split,” she explained. “[And] here’s what must be true for you guys to come back together.”