Jul 6, 2026
The average cost of a wedding comes in at $34,200 in 2026, according to The Knot. But the costs don’t end with the bride and groom forking over the funds to celebrate their special day. Bridesmaids and groomsmen are increasingly asked to spend big bucks as well.
In fact, the average cost of being a bridesmaid totals around $1,900, while groomsmen get a slightly better deal, paying an average of $1,800. This includes things like gifts, bachelor and bachelorette parties and custom attire for the big day.
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While celebrating your loved ones and spending a fortune to make them feel special sounds nice, these high costs must, at some point, be reconciled with the reality that almost 40% of all adults don’t even have cash to cover a $400 emergency, let alone a $1,400 bachelor party.
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So, what should you do if a close family member asks you to be in the bridal party but the price is out of your budget? For example, let’s take the case of Steve, who is 26 and whose older brother Sam is getting married.
Sam asked Steve to be the best man. Steve was honored — until he found out it would cost him over $1,200 to buy a custom suit and pay his portion of a bachelor party in Vegas. Steve simply doesn’t have the money and he’s not sure what to do next.
Tell the truth about the tough situation
While Steve may be tempted to just suck it up and pay for the wedding, that’s actually a really bad idea.
If he put $1,200 on a credit card with a 27% interest rate and made a 3% monthly minimum payment, he’d be stuck with the balance for 178 months and would ultimately pay $3,734.61 for the privilege of being in the wedding. There’s also a good chance Steve could get stuck paying even more than the custom suit as the wedding planning continues.
He shouldn’t get himself stuck in debt, raid his emergency fund, risk being unprepared for a financial disaster, or give up other priorities like retirement savings just for a wedding that he could come to resent. Instead, he should tell the truth.
“Approach your brother and tell him your situation,” advised David Wangberg, a financial coach and founder of Wangberg Financial Coaching, in an interview with Moneywise. “The sooner you are able to discuss the situation with him, the better.”
Sam may not be aware of the financial impact of his requests or the burden that fulfilling them would place on his friends and family, so a simple conversation is a good place to start.
However, Wangberg warned that if Sam offers to just cover the cost himself, Steve should get this in writing to be sure there’s no confusion later. “Make sure it says, in writing, that you don’t owe him back on anything. You don’t want to go into debt, especially to family.”
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Suggest alternatives
When approaching Sam, Steve doesn’t have to just come in with a hard no. Wangberg suggested coming up with some cheaper ideas to bring to the table.
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“Propose alternatives for a bachelor party. Think of other opportunities that your brother likes or would like and see if he is open to the idea. These could be more locally-based options that fit everyone’s budget, including yours, or they could be something not locally, but that won’t bust your budget.”
Wangberg also recommended options beyond a custom suit. “Check with your brother to see if you can rent a suit or have one that is somewhat altered but also less expensive.”
Sometimes people lose sight of the fact that a wedding is supposed to be about celebrating a milestone with family, not having a grand event. Sam may decide it’s far better to have everyone present and happy at a fun local party, instead of stressed financially at a big weekend away that only a few guests can afford to attend.
Step away from the best man duties if necessary
Of course, there’s a chance that Sam has his heart set on the big trip and the custom look. And that’s OK too. But Steve doesn’t have to put his own financial future on the line for his brother’s dream.
“If your brother wants to stick to the original plan, kindly discuss your decision to step away from the best man role as you are unable to afford it,” Wangberg advised.
While this may be a last resort, Steve could still attend as a guest and have a great time at the wedding with his brother, without his bank account taking a huge hit.
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Christy Bieber has 15 years of experience as a personal finance and legal writer. She has written for many publications including Forbes, Kilplinger, CNN, WSJ, Credit Karma, Insurify and more.
Managing Money • 19h ago
