Jan 30, 2026
A Virginia man recently called in to The Ramsey Show for help with his family’s finances, which he said are putting a strain on his marriage (1).
Cody from Roanoke told cohosts Jade Warshaw and Rachel Cruze that he recently started making more money, but “the more income I [bring] in, the more my wife likes to spend,” and, at this point, he “just can’t keep up.”
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While Cody and his wife may have differences in financial styles — he’s “the saver” and she’s “the spender” — the show’s cohosts said that there might be other reasons at play for what’s going on with his wife’s spending, and their relationship.
Debt and overspending
Cody said that in addition to $7,000 in credit card debt, they have about $35,000 in medical debt after their youngest child had a medical issue and ended up in the ICU.
On top of that, they bought a bigger car, to the tune of $50,000. “We didn't have to, I guess we could have just kept going,” Cody said, “but my wife wanted to purchase a bigger vehicle for traveling and stuff.”
He told Warshaw and Cruze that he is “the saver” who likes “to say no, and, you know, get the bills paid.” But since purchasing the car, they are living paycheck to paycheck.
They had $20,000 in savings, after selling a house that they’d invested in, but now their savings is down to about $5,000. Cody makes about $5,000 a month before taxes from his primary job, and he has a landscaping business that he says brings in a maximum of $2,000 a month. He and his wife have four children between them, and his wife stays home to take care of the kids, because day care costs would be “too expensive.”
When Warshaw tried to dig into the numbers, to see what his wife was spending, Cody said monthly groceries added up to about $1,200.
“Well, that feels right,” she said.
When she asked Cody for an example of an area in the budget where his wife is overspending, he said “we have our joint checking, which is what I feed the money to her through. If I tell her $100, it ends up being $150.”
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That’s when Cruze chimed in.
“OK, Cody, you’re not her dad,” she said.
Cruze said that while Cody’s wife may be “out of bounds,” if she is spending more than they earn, the way that Cody described their relationship in terms of finances sounded “very separate.”
“Emotionally and plan-wise, you guys are on two different tracks,” Cruze said. “And when you tell her, ‘This is how much you have to spend on groceries,’ to me, that’s a red flag in your marriage and communication.”
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Communication is the first step
According to a study by Ramsey Solutions (2), money is the No. 1 issue couples fight about, and the No. 2 cause of divorce.
Being open and honest about your views on money at the outset of a relationship can save you strife in the future. It’s unlikely that you and your partner will agree on every single financial decision, but learning early on where the other person is coming from when it comes to money can help you to build understanding, which can make finding a compromise that much easier.
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According to an article Cruze penned for Ramsey Solutions (3), identifying you and your partner’s “money mindsets” is an important step when you are merging your life, and finances. Overcoming these differences can seem like a huge obstacle, but working on your communication skills can help solve them.
Cruze also writes that trouble can arise when one person is handling all the money decisions, and the other takes a backseat — as in the situation with Cody, who said that he was making the budget, and then putting money in a joint account for his wife. She, in turn, is in charge of doing all the shopping for the family.
Cruze advised Cody to sit down with his wife and have a conversation about their finances, but instead of focusing on his wife’s actions, or placing blame, foregrounding how their financial difficulties were impacting him.
Cruze also suggested that maybe in discussing things, Cody might learn that some of the expenses were justified.
”You actually may learn something in sitting down with her and hearing what she has to say," Cruze said. "‘Oh, wow. I didn’t realize that sports uniforms cost, you know, 30 bucks a kid. And so now we're spending a hundred bucks.’”
For a couple in a situation like Cody and his wife, communication and compromise could be the keys to overcoming their financial difficulties. Without tackling these issues, not only could their debt continue to grow, but also resentment about how the other deals with money — which can strain a marriage and put the relationship itself at stake.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
The Ramsey Show (1); Ramsey Solutions (2) (3)
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Rebecca Payne has more than a decade of experience editing and producing both local and national daily newspapers. She's worked on the Toronto Star, the Globe and Mail, Metro, Canada's National Observer, the Virginian-Pilot and Daily Press.
