Virginia man says he 'can't keep up' with his wife's spending and it's a strain on their marriage. How Ramsey Show says they can get on the same page

While Cody and his wife may have differences in financial styles — he’s “the saver” and she’s “the spender” — the show’s cohosts said that there might be other reasons at play for what’s going on with his wife’s spending, and their relationship.

Debt and overspending

Cody said that in addition to $7,000 in credit card debt, they have about $35,000 in medical debt after their youngest child had a medical issue and ended up in the ICU.

On top of that, they bought a bigger car, to the tune of $50,000. “We didn't have to, I guess we could have just kept going,” Cody said, “but my wife wanted to purchase a bigger vehicle for traveling and stuff.”

He told Warshaw and Cruze that he is “the saver” who likes “to say no, and, you know, get the bills paid.” But since purchasing the car, they are living paycheck to paycheck.

They had $20,000 in savings, after selling a house that they’d invested in, but now their savings is down to about $5,000. Cody makes about $5,000 a month before taxes from his primary job, and he has a landscaping business that he says brings in a maximum of $2,000 a month. He and his wife have four children between them, and his wife stays home to take care of the kids, because day care costs would be “too expensive.”

When Warshaw tried to dig into the numbers, to see what his wife was spending, Cody said monthly groceries added up to about $1,200.

“Well, that feels right,” she said.

When she asked Cody for an example of an area in the budget where his wife is overspending, he said “we have our joint checking, which is what I feed the money to her through. If I tell her $100, it ends up being $150.”

That’s when Cruze chimed in.

“OK, Cody, you’re not her dad,” she said.

Cruze said that while Cody’s wife may be “out of bounds,” if she is spending more than they earn, the way that Cody described their relationship in terms of finances sounded “very separate.”

“Emotionally and plan-wise, you guys are on two different tracks,” Cruze said. “And when you tell her, ‘This is how much you have to spend on groceries,’ to me, that’s a red flag in your marriage and communication.”

Communication is the first step

According to a study by Ramsey Solutions (2), money is the No. 1 issue couples fight about, and the No. 2 cause of divorce.

Being open and honest about your views on money at the outset of a relationship can save you strife in the future. It’s unlikely that you and your partner will agree on every single financial decision, but learning early on where the other person is coming from when it comes to money can help you to build understanding, which can make finding a compromise that much easier.

According to an article Cruze penned for Ramsey Solutions (3), identifying you and your partner’s “money mindsets” is an important step when you are merging your life, and finances. Overcoming these differences can seem like a huge obstacle, but working on your communication skills can help solve them.

Cruze also writes that trouble can arise when one person is handling all the money decisions, and the other takes a backseat — as in the situation with Cody, who said that he was making the budget, and then putting money in a joint account for his wife. She, in turn, is in charge of doing all the shopping for the family.