Aug 20, 2024
For most couples, earning a combined income of $615,384 would solve many of their problems. But for New York-based Geena and James, this impressive income seems to have created surprising new issues.
One of those issues is that the income is lopsided. Geena earns 10 times more than her husband on a monthly basis, which means she bears most of the fixed and leisure costs for the family.
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“I’m kind of the Mom; I’m kind of planning things, I’m kind of taking care of all the things,” she tells Ramit Sethi on a recent episode of his podcast, I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
Here’s why many high-income couples struggle with similar issues in their relationships.
Lopsided income
It isn’t uncommon for one partner to earn more than the other. However, for Geena and James the magnitude of the income disparity is somewhat unusual.
Geena, 44, is an experienced attorney at an unnamed tech company, which allows her to generate $46,282 in monthly income. James, 39, is a freelance music producer who generates roughly $5,000 on a monthly basis. With an outsized income, Geena has taken it upon herself to budget and pay for the bulk of the couple’s fixed expenses, travel and leisure costs to the point where James can’t even remember the last time he ordered cleaning supplies for their home.
From 1972 to 2022, the number of American women who earn as much as or significantly more than their husbands has tripled, according to data collected by Pew Research. Nevertheless, this situation is still in the minority. Women were the primary or sole breadwinner in only 16% of all couples surveyed by Pew.
Studies have suggested an impact on relationships when they do not conform to the norm regarding who makes more income. The likelihood of divorce increased by 50% when a woman outearned her husband, according to 2013 findings by the University of Chicago.
Geena and James seem to be noticing some strain, too. “Because I’m not able to contribute in the same way or in similar ways therefore I just feel like I’m not enough,” James confesses to Sethi. “Doesn’t feel great.”
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To rescue the relationship, Sethi makes some practical recommendations.
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Better planning and more conversations
Sethi diagnoses that a lack of clear communication and discussion of their expectations has strained their relationship. According to a 2023 survey by Empower, 46% of Americans do not discuss finances with their spouse or partner. Breaking down this barrier could have clear benefits for Geena and James.
“I want to be involved in conversations surrounding spending a lot of money on a holiday even if I’m not the one spending the money obviously,” James says.
Meanwhile, the couple could also take concrete measures to balance out their finances. James tells Sethi he’s looking to raise his freelance rates and potentially triple his income within five years. If he meets that target, Sethi estimates he can avoid debt and contribute roughly $36,000 a year to the couple’s combined investments.
Geena, meanwhile, could cut back on discretionary spending to set aside more of her income for investments too. She currently spends $48,000 on average per holiday, and the couple takes roughly five holidays a year. By skipping one of these, they could set aside an additional $50,000 to invest every year.
Sethi calculates that these adjustments could help the couple accumulate $6 million in combined net worth within 15 years, allowing them both to live a more balanced and stress-free life.
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
