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Budgeting
a screengrab from Ramit Sethi's Money for Couples podcast Photo: Money for Couples/YouTube

‘I feel like it’s not working’: Tech worker makes 5x her boyfriend’s salary but is about to lose her job soon. Ramit Sethi explores the couple’s financial dynamics

It’s not uncommon for couples to have a noticeable gap in income, lifestyles, and career paths. However, Mindy and Victor are dealing with a significant gap that encompasses all three.

Mindy, 39, is a software consultant earning $12,300 a month with a taste for high-end luxuries, while Victor’s a 25-year-old boxing gym owner who makes $2,400 a month and wants a simple lifestyle.

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Speaking with finance personality Ramit Sethi on an episode of his podcast, Money for Couples, the pair discussed how these gaps were causing strain in their relationship.

“I feel like it’s not working for me,” Mindy said. “He’s a dreamer, but he also takes way more risks than me… I feel like I’m the security net.”

Yet, Sethi points out that Mindy is 14 years older than Victor and far more established in her career. But complicating things further is the fact that Mindy is about to lose her tech job at the end of October.

Her situation highlights the impact of ongoing mass layoffs and job losses across the tech sector — and now the couple have to navigate their new reality.

A wave of layoffs

In the past year, the U.S. economy has continued to add an average of 203,000 jobs per month, according to the latest data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.

However, the tech industry hasn’t participated in this trend. Instead, tech giants and startups have shed jobs at a brisk pace throughout 2024.

At the time of this writing, 470 tech companies have collectively laid off 141,145 employees this year so far, according to Layoffs.fyi.

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The layoffs have disproportionately impacted women, according to CNBC, which states that two-thirds of tech workers are men, but more than half of laid-off workers in 2022 and 2023 were women.

Although tech firms have been downsizing their workforce for years, many are still caught off guard when the wave hits them.

“When I didn't know I was getting laid off and everything was going great… I was investing, I was saving, I was doing everything that I thought to be right,” Mindy told Sethi before adding, “then it just felt like it got pulled from underneath me.”

Since her income made up roughly 83% of the couple’s combined monthly gross, this job loss is set to impact them severely.

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To help navigate this uncharted territory, Sethi recommended that they start by setting clear expectations for each other moving forward.

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Setting clear expectations

Although couples often share long-term ambitions, they can struggle with day-to-day spending and budgeting.

For example, while 84% of Americans say they share a unified financial goal with their partner, 36% of them also admit that their partner does not (or would not) get an accurate picture of their finances, according to the latest data from BMO Real Financial Progress Index.

This disparity often leads to tension in relationships, with 34% of those surveyed telling BMO that spending money is often a source of stress with their partner.

To resolve this, Sethi recommends couples talk openly about their real financial goals and create a budget that matches each partners’ expectations.

Other celebrity finance experts have weighed in on the subject. “While personality differences cause some marital problems, it isn’t the real root of your money and marriage issues,” wrote Rachel Cruze, co-host of The Ramsey Show.

“The source of the problem is whenever one of you neglects to hear the other’s input, or when one of you bows out from handling the finances altogether… News flash: you’re both on the same team here, so work on the budget together! Use your personality differences to become a stronger, more united team.”

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Vishesh Raisinghani Freelance Writer

Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.

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