Jan 1, 2025
Couples check for compatibility in all sorts of ways — from comparing political views to zodiac signs or even discovering if they share the same taste in sports teams.
But one question often gets overlooked: are you and your partner financially compatible?
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Financial compatibility isn’t about the size of your bank accounts or whether you’re in the same tax bracket. It’s about your money mindset, the beliefs and habits that shape how you handle finances as a team.
In his latest book, Money for Couples, personal finance expert Ramit Sethi breaks down four distinct "money personalities" that he believes capture how most Americans handle their finances: the Worrier, the Optimizer, the Avoider and the Dreamer.
Navigating a relationship with one of these money personalities can be especially challenging: “You can find compatibility with any money type,” Sethi told MoneyWise in a recent interview. “However, the hardest money type to be in a relationship with is probably the Dreamer.”
If your partner is a Dreamer, don’t worry — there are still ways to share in their dreams while staying grounded in reality.
Decoding the Dreamer
If your partner frequently assures you that “it’s going to be fine” or claims a big financial opportunity is “just around the corner,” they might be a Dreamer.
Dreamers are often drawn to get-rich-quick schemes or display optimism about money. This mindset typically stems from never facing significant consequences for their financial habits — whether it’s borrowing money from family and friends or maintaining a high credit card balance.
While dreaming big and embracing optimism about money can be inspiring, it often creates tension in relationships when the Dreamer shifts the financial burden onto their partner while they wait for their “big break.”
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“I want us to be able to dream with money and I want us to be tethered to reality,” Sethi explained.
A study by Bread Financial found that 44% of couples wish they shared a more similar financial mindset with their partners.
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Bridging the gap
No two people manage money the same way and that’s OK. Whether your partner is a meticulous saver or a spontaneous spender, you can bridge the gap by focusing on communication and creating shared financial goals.
According to the latest BMO Real Financial Progress Index, 84% of Americans report having unified financial goals with their partners, yet 36% admit their partner doesn’t have a full picture of their finances. This disconnect can lead to misunderstanding or missed opportunities to work as a team.
To close this gap, Sethi recommends having open and honest conversations about money. Set aside time to discuss not only your income and expenses but also your attitude towards saving, spending and investing. After sharing how you feel, it’s important to ask your partner questions like “how does this make you feel?”
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Acknowledging differences in your money personalities can help alleviate some of the tension around your finances as a couple. From there, you can create a plan that reflects both partners’ priorities.
For example, Sethi often recommends having one joint account for shared expenses, which can include things like your mortgage payments or groceries. This can also be used as a tool to save for things like a dream vacation or hobby you’ve been wanting to try.
But he also sees the value of couples maintaining separate checking accounts alongside their joint finances.
“We still have individual expenses that we like and we should have our own money for. For example, my wife loves self care, she’s into it. I'm not,” Sethi said.
Having separate checking accounts, alongside the joint account allows each partner the freedom to enjoy their individual priorities without financial tension.
Financial harmony isn’t about changing your partner’s habits; it’s about finding a system that works for both of you.
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Victoria Vesovski is a Toronto-based Staff Reporter at Moneywise, where she covers the intersection of personal finance, lifestyle and trending news. She holds an Honours Bachelor of Arts from the University of Toronto, a postgraduate certificate in Publishing from Toronto Metropolitan University and a Master’s degree in American Journalism from New York University’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. Her work has been featured in publications including Apple News, Yahoo Finance, MSN Money, Her Campus Media and The Click.
