Jan 28, 2025
Breakups can be painful, but the pain can be amplified if you relied on your ex-partner to handle your finances.
Elliot from Toronto, Canada, called into “The Ramsey Show” explaining that his separation from his wife has left him both emotionally and financially vulnerable. Although he earns $73,000 a year — it’s unclear if this was in U.S. or Canadian dollars — he’s not confident in managing the family budget by himself.
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“She used to handle all of the money in the house, so I’m just kind of figuring things out for myself now,” Elliot said in a clip posted Jan. 6.
At the same time, he’s also figuring out how to raise his 18-month-old daughter as a single parent. He admits he hasn’t been able to stick to a budget and has struggled to save any money.
Ramsey took the opportunity to highlight how heartbreak can be reflected in bank statements.
Budget duties
It’s common in marriages for one partner to take the lead in handling the household budget. Around 61% of married men said they make all or most of the financial decisions within their household, compared to 38% of married women, according to a 2024 survey by New York Life.
If you’re not used to handling household finances, you may struggle, at first, if the relationship falls apart and suddenly the responsibility drops on you.
To be fair, Elliot says he crafted a budget that should be leaving him $300 in savings every month. However, he hasn’t been able to stick to his plans and that excess money always seems to disappear.
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Ramsey believes Elliot’s emotional distress could be the reason why his budget plans haven’t worked out as expected.
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Emotional spending
Following a budget is difficult enough in most circumstances, but having to do so while also grieving the end of a marriage can be even more difficult.
“If you’re spending time eating out because you’re lonely or you’re spending time doing whatever that costs money because you're lonely, make sure you recognize that and you’re writing it down,” he told Elliot. “I mean you're going through a heartbreak right now. This is a hard time emotionally and that hard time will show up in the money if you don't get on the other side of it and crack the whip on it.”
Breakups often lead to changes in housing expenditures and child care expenses, if applicable, that must be taken into account. But it’s also common for consumers to spend when they’re feeling blue. In a survey commissioned by LendingTree, 69% of Americans shared that emotions have influenced their spending habits, while 76% of emotional spenders admitted it has led to overspending. Among all consumers, nearly half say they’ve made purchases in an attempt to improve their mood.
Elliot didn’t confirm or deny that he’s overspent due to his emotional state, but he did admit he may not be very attentive of his spending throughout the month. Ramsey recommended a proactive approach by planning for every dollar spent before the month starts and tracking spending as time goes on.
“The only way to make the money behave is, before the month starts, write every dollar down and where it’s going to go,” he advised. “You’re in charge of it, but you need to tell it what to do.”
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
