Apr 17, 2026
Money can be one of the biggest obstacles a couple faces together — and the one thing you may avoid talking about with your partner.
It's no surprise people put off talking money; it comes with challenges, especially if you don't see eye to eye. One survey found that money was the number one issue that couples fight about, and the number two cause of divorce (1).
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But all that avoidance may be causing stress for nothing. A new study found that conversations between couples about money often go better than expected.
When positive outcomes are unexpected
The study (2), "Couples Underestimate Positive Affective Reactions to Financial Conversations", published in the April issue of Social Psychological and Personality Science, investigated how people in relationships "perceive — and ultimately experience — financial conversations."
What they found was a gap between perception and reality. Researchers found that people "systematically underestimate how enjoyable, informative and socially connecting these conversations will be."
The researchers noted that this "misprediction" happens because couples "underestimate the extent to which they will reach an agreement."
While partners may dread the money talk and assume it will end in a big disagreement, the study found the opposite.
The research, which included more than 1,600 married individuals across three experiments, involved surveying participants before and after a talk with their partner about finances (3).
The study found that "repeatedly, they emerged feeling closer to their significant other and more aligned than they'd expected," according to a CNBC report (4).
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The importance of building financial communication
Strong communication in your relationship is a skill to develop, and skills take practice. Though the temptation to skirt the issue is real, the more you talk about money, the more skilled you're likely to become at reaching a compromise.
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That act of diplomacy is a necessary part of financial communication, as it's unlikely you and your partner will always agree on every money issue.
Getting on the same page will be easier if you start the conversation, and you may discover the extent of your financial compatibility.
Financial compatibility can mean sharing similar views on saving, spending habits and long-term financial planning. It can also mean having different styles that complement (5) each other. Even if you and your partner have different views on a particular issue, knowing your compatibility can make it easier to navigate a disagreement.
Certified financial planner Douglas Boneparth told (6) CNBC that money "can feel harder to bring up than sex," but that the fear of talking about money "isn't really about numbers."
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"Money represents something different to everyone: trust, control, love, freedom," he said. "Talking about money means exposing all of that."
Another reason people may avoid these conversations?
"People fear judgment," Boneparth told CNBC. "So instead of risking it, they avoid the conversation altogether."
Another study from the National Council on Family Relations, in its journal Family Relations (7), found that couples who believe their partner shares financial values are better equipped to talk about money.
It all points to not shying away from financial conversations — the outcome may be better than you think.
Article Sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our ethics and guidelines.
Ramsey Solutions (1),(5); SAGE Journals (2); CNBC (3),(4),(6); Wiley Online Library (7)
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Rebecca Payne has more than a decade of experience editing and producing both local and national daily newspapers. She's worked on the Toronto Star, the Globe and Mail, Metro, Canada's National Observer, the Virginian-Pilot and Daily Press.
