Oct 14, 2024
It’s common for partners to keep some financial secrets. Nearly 30% of adults said they’ve experienced financial infidelity, either as a victim or as the perpetrator, according to U.S. News & World Report.
Unfortunately for Sarah, a mother of two from Atlanta, Georgia, her husband’s financial infidelity goes much deeper and stretches back several years. “He has been stealing from [me],” the former millionaire told hosts of The Ramsey Show.
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She described how her husband had concealed the fact that his business was suffering and lied to her about the state of their joint finances. His actions have dwindled the family’s emergency fund from over $100,000 down to just a few months’ worth of expenses. He also borrowed $286,000 from her under false pretenses.
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Besides this, Sarah said, he lied on their prenuptial agreement, claiming he had a net worth of $160,000 when he was actually in debt. Sarah’s stunning discovery puts a spotlight on the fact that marrying the wrong person can have devastating financial consequences.
Financial infidelity
Some 43% of U.S. adults have committed at least one financial deception in a current or past relationship in which finances were commingled, according to a poll by the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE). The majority of these couples said the lies and omissions regarding money negatively impacted their relationships.
However, the term “financial infidelity” includes a broad range of behaviors, from hiding a small guilty-pleasure purchase to outright fraud and embezzlement. Sarah’s experience is on the latter end of that spectrum.
“The level of financial infidelity you’ve experienced is the level of an affair,” co-host Rachel Cruze told Sarah.
As with physical infidelity, financial deception can destroy a relationship. About 10% of couples who have experienced financial infidelity have divorced because of the issue, according to a study published in the Journal of Financial Therapy.
Unfortunately, with two young kids involved, Sarah doesn’t believe divorce is an option for her. Couples therapy is off the table too because, “to be quite frank, it’s not something we can afford right now,” she said. Instead, she’s taking steps to protect herself from further losses.
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Sarah’s financial firewall
With divorce and family therapy out of consideration, Sarah said, she has moved to protect her finances by creating a firewall. The couple have split bank accounts and unmingled funds while they’re also working with a lawyer to sign a postnuptial agreement to reflect their current financial status.
Half of divorce lawyers surveyed in 2015 by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers said they saw a rise in the number of postnuptial agreements requested by their clients. And 7% of these lawyers said they included an “infidelity” clause in such agreements.
Separate finances are also increasingly common. A recent survey found that only 43% of American couples had joint finances, with Gen Z couples the least likely to combine their accounts.
Whether separate finances, prenups or postnups have any impact on the chances of financial infidelity is unknown, these moves could limit the damage from a cheating partner.
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
