Dec 18, 2025
When kids start crossing the threshold into adulthood, parents often get wedged into an difficult spot: wanting to provide support while also pushing them toward independence — especially when money enters the picture.
Today’s economy isn’t making that balance any easier. Mix together a rough job market with elevated debt and high living costs, and it’s no surprise young adults are boomeranging back home. A 2025 survey by Thrivent found 46% of parents reported adult children aged 18-35 moving back home — housing affordability was the top reason, cited by 32% of respondents. (1)
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Parents are stepping in financially to soften the blow, but the big question remains: does footing the bill truly help in the long run?
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That’s exactly what Idaho mom Ashley wanted to figure out when she called into The Ramsey Show for advice. (2) Her 21-year-old daughter was living at home, covering none of her own expenses — including a $400 monthly boarding fee for her horse. In a clip posted Nov. 25, Ashley asked co-hosts Rachel Cruze and George Kamel how to start the hard conversation without blowing up the relationship.
In other words, how do parents draw the line between support and enabling?
What's the smart move?
Ashley said that her daughter has two jobs, but both were part-time and only brought in around $1,000 a month. When further pressed on why her daughter wasn’t contributing, Ashley explained her child had previously gone through a severe bout of depression that included self-harm. Things have improved, but the parents were afraid of upsetting her and making her feel unsupported. However, they also know paying all her bills can’t be healthy in the long run, and the co-hosts agreed.
“Five years from now, are we still doing this? Is she still making $1,000 a month at 25 years old, living with Mom and Dad? Because otherwise we need a totally different plan,” Kamel said.
All parties also acknowledge the sensitive nature of the situation. Ashley and her husband aren’t trying to throw their daughter to the wolves, but rather want to help her become a smart, resilient adult.
“I think helping her become an adult is not being mean. I think it’s actually the most loving thing you can do because it actually is going to give her self-confidence, it’s going to give her some dignity, it’s going to give her a reason to wake up in the morning and be productive,” Cruze said.
It’s true that some kids may be “spoiled” — Ashley admits as much about her daughter during the call — but that doesn’t mean parents should jeopardize their own stability. Thrivent’s survey found 38% of boomerang parents say the experience has impacted their savings for long-term goals, including retirement. In addition, 55% of these parents reported having to scale back financial support for their children.
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Having the financial talk with your kids
Teaching your children financial independence — even if you have to give them a little push — is important. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be compassionate, especially if your child is dealing with serious challenges.
Show your child that you are coming from a place of support and stability rather than just cutting them off. You don’t have to make them begin footing all of their bills at once or show them the door right away. Expenses can be introduced gradually. Even Cruze suggested baby steps may be the right way to go. Plus, you can still be there for them every step of the way, helping with job applications, apartment hunting, creating a budget or applying for school or certification programs. Consider setting monthly check-ins to see where they are, and gradually lower your financial support until they reach their goals.
You may also want to avoid lecturing your kid on their financial shortcomings. Flip the script and approach the situation as a parent who is ready to make up for failing to teach them financial literacy at an early age. After all, that’s precisely what happened between Ashley and her daughter, and taking accountability may help the process.
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Thrivent (1), The Ramsey Show Highlights (2)
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Chris Clark is a Kansas City–based freelance journalist covering personal finance, housing and retirement. A former Associated Press editor and reporter, he writes plainspoken stories that help readers make smarter financial decisions.
