‘My mother-in-law is now requesting we pay her to watch our daughter’: Minnesota couple earning $230K struggles with child care costs, Ramsey Show hosts weigh in

What puzzled Kyle further was that his grandparents are financially secure, bringing in $300,000 a year and living debt-free. However, with a household income of $230,000, Kyle and his wife are not struggling either.

This story underscores how soaring childcare expenses are straining many families across America.

Soaring costs of childcare

Child care is considered affordable if the costs are less than 7% of the family’s household income, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). However, a recent Care survey found that families are spending an average of 24% of their monthly income on child care.

As of 2024, 23% of families surveyed by Care said they were spending over $3,000 a month or $36,000 a year on child care. Meanwhile, 52,000 employees have been absent from work in September 2024 due to child-care-related issues, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. For context, the average cost of going to college is $38,270 per year, according to the Education Data Initiative.

However, Warshaw and Kamel said they believed Kyle’s family should be in a better position than most.

Kyle’s options

Given their household income, Warshaw and Kamel said they believe Kyle and his wife have multiple options at their disposal.

They could seek out private care. The average annual cost of preschool in Minnesota is $12,252, according to a report by the state’s House of Representatives. Assuming Kyle’s wife makes more than $12,252 a year, it makes sense for her to stay employed.

“You make $230,000 a year, don’t tell me you can’t afford it,” Kamel said. “Say, ‘It’s going to slow down my debt snowball,’ which is frustrating. ‘We could’ve been debt-free four months faster,’ but babies change things and that’s OK.’”

Alternatively, the family could consider paying Grandma if her request is lower than that of a private daycare. Having a family member willingly assist with child care is a blessing, Kamel said.

A YouTube commenter agreed. “Speaking from a grandma’s perspective: I love my grandchildren, but I don’t want to watch them every day for 8 to 9 hours per day,” she said.

Still, 42% of working parents said they relied on grandparents for child care and 83% of them said the national economy would suffer without this overlooked contribution from grandmas, according to a Harris Poll.