Brandon, 41, and his wife, from Gulfport, MiBrandon, 41, and his wife, from Gulfport, Mississippi, took just 10 years to become what he calls “almost textbook” millionaires. However, while they were busy accumulating capital they were losing close friendships and connections within their community.
“We kind of noticed old relationships fizzling and building new ones have not been so great,” he said on a recent episode of The Ramsey Show. “I think it’s sort of an unintended consequence of how we live our lives.”
He insists they’re not braggarts, but senses some resentment and envy from folks in his tiny community. Host John Delony suspects the couple’s struggles to make connections are part of a wider trend of loneliness that’s engulfing us all.
Loneliness epidemic
Former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murphy published a 2023 report on what he described as an epidemic of loneliness and isolation nationwide. According to the study, one in two adults report feeling lonely in recent years. The study noted that the mortality impact of persistent social disconnection was on par with smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
“[Loneliness] is just a decision to die early and miserably,” Delony says.
Certain demographics are more vulnerable, including Brandon’s age group: the millennials. According to Harvard research, millennials are the loneliest, with 29% of millennials aged 30 to 44 reported feeling lonely “frequently” or “always.”
Wealth disparity could complicate relationships as well. After he and his wife achieved millionaire status, Brandon says their friends often put him on spot to pay for things while hanging out.
“Like, ‘Hey, we’re not catching that bill, we know you guys have money,’” he says. “That’s funny at first but when it’s three, four or five times in a row it gets a little old.”
“They’re not your friends, then, they’re your coupon book,” Delony responds bluntly. “People are choosing to see your life as some sort of indictment on the way they’re doing it, and that’s just them opting out of a relationship with you, and that’s a bum deal, man.”
Noting that the couple have two kids in elementary school, he also suspects that parenthood could be part of the problem.
“There's a natural separation that happens when your kids are this age and that happens whether you have money or not, it's just normal,” he tells them.
Research backs this up. According to a recent survey by Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, 65% of parents across the country reported struggling with social isolation.
Given the health impacts of isolation, it is necessary to push back and attempt to build new connections despite the hurdles.
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Making new connections
Parents of young children might have to make a significant effort to make and sustain friendships, but they also have more opportunities to build social connections. Parent groups, sports events and parent-child activities at school could be an excellent way to build new friendships.
Delony suggests looking past the awkwardness and making a proactive effort to invite people for social events and activities to foster relationships.
For those who don’t have kids, getting involved in hobby-based groups or community activities could be an excellent way to lower loneliness. The U.S. Surgeon General’s report recommends seeking out fitness, religious, hobby, professional, and community service organizations to build new connections. Civic engagements with local town halls and neighborhood meetings could also be a great way to find new friends.
The report also suggests ways to sustain your current relationships by setting time aside to be with your family and avoiding using smartphones during meals with others.
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Vishesh Raisinghani is a financial journalist covering personal finance, investing and the global economy. He's also the founder of Sharpe Ascension Inc., a content marketing agency focused on investment firms. His work has appeared in Moneywise, Yahoo Finance!, Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, Mergers & Acquisitions Magazine and Piggybank.
