My roommate's partner lives with us for free while we struggle to pay rent and holiday expenses this time of year — how do I make the situation more fair?

Let’s say you live with a pair of roommates, but it feels like more — one of them has a partner who stays over three to four days a week and doesn’t pitch in for rent or utilities. Their presence isn’t just about sharing space. They let dishes pile up for days before washing them, have multiple devices connected to the Wi-Fi and take long, hot showers. On the one hand, they buy their own food, but it also takes up fridge space and they use everyone else’s food containers for leftovers.

This person is clearly a drain on resources, which become more precious during this time of year. Even small contributions could help lighten the load. But when a guest feels like family, how do you address the imbalance without creating conflict or disrupting the holiday spirit?

Rising prices and tension

The rising cost of living can add fuel to household tensions, especially when expenses aren’t shared equitably. From 2019 to 2023, rents have increased by 30.4%, outpacing wage growth at just 20.2%, according to an analysis by Zillow.

One way to manage these costs is to have open conversations about splitting costs fairly, while possibly setting firm payment deadlines. Revisisting household responsibilities — such as establishing a rotating cleaning schedule — can help keep shared spaces manageable.

If guests are staying over, especially for extended stays, setting expectations for tasks like cleanup or contributions to groceries can preserve the festive spirit while avoiding unnecessary conflict.

Budgeting in the season of spending

The holidays often come with a hefty price tag, and this year, Americans are planning to spend even more on gifts. According to a Gallup survey, respondents expect to spend an average of $1,012 on Christmas or other holiday gifts, an increase from the $975 estimated in the previous year.

Increased spending can be stressful enough, but add an unofficial roommate to the mix and things get even more complicated. When it comes to managing shared expenses, setting clear expectations and being proactive about your budget can help you stay in control of your spending.

Setting achievable spending goals can help keep your budget on track. Monitoring your expenses and identifying areas where you can cut back ensures you can enjoy the festivities without compromising your financial well-being. With a bit of planning, you can stay in control of your finances and still embrace the holiday spirit.