My eccentric brother, 62, inherited our dad's $150,000 watch — but he wants to just throw it in the ocean and I could use the cash. What can I do?

Simasko said it’s common for families to spend “astronomical amounts fighting over heirlooms.”

When Aretha Franklin died, there was a dispute over a $2 million home in her estate. One of the attorneys at Simasko’s firm was interviewed about how heated the case was becoming and he just quipped: “Wait until I tell you about the war a family had over the homemade Christmas ornaments.”

There’s good reason for this. As Taylor Newcomb Damaska, director of estate planning at Helton Law Firm, told Moneywise, “Money can usually be divided fairly. A one-of-a-kind family heirloom can’t. Some of the most emotional disagreements involve items that have relatively little financial value, because those items represent memories, relationships and family history.“

This is true for Matt, who we’ll pretend inherited a watch from his father, Alfred. Alfred wore the watch for 60 years, and Matt’s memories of his father are tied to it. Now, Matt doesn’t want anyone else to wear it. Instead, he wants to memorialize his dad by throwing the watch into the ocean at a seaside town where Alfred was happiest.

Matt talked often about this plan — including to Alfred. Yet his father still left him the watch. But now Matt’s sister, Kara, is upset about the waste. The watch is a Patek Philippe worth around $150,000, and Kara wants it sold instead. She’s hoping for a legal way to stop Matt. So, what can she do?

Kara has no legal right to stop Matt, but he should be cautious

First, Kara likely has no grounds to thwart Matt’s plan. “If the watch was properly gifted to the son through a trust or through a completed probate process, the watch became the property of the son, and he can do whatever he wishes with his own property,” Phillip Reed, estate and asset protection attorney at Reed Law, PLC, explained to Moneywise.

“The sister may not like this decision, especially given the watch’s significant financial value, but her unhappiness doesn’t create a legal claim,” said Damaska. “Unless there’s evidence that the father imposed specific conditions on the gift or if the son isn’t actually the legal owner yet, the sister can’t force him to keep or sell the watch simply because it’s valuable.”

Barry E. Janay, Esq., principal and owner of The Law Office of Barry E. Janay, agrees. “There may be an equitable argument about it causing a hardship, or whether the father was even of sound mind when he created the testamentary instrument, but it would be a very tough one to make, and she’d probably lose in court,” he told Moneywise.

The reality, as Stefanie L. Demario-Germershausen, an estate planning lawyer and partner at Angiuli & Gentile, LLP, told Moneywise, is that “a sibling has no legal claim over property another sibling inherited outright. Sentimental value is not a legally protected interest, and courts don’t stop people from disposing of their own belongings.”

Still, Matt shouldn’t rush into renting a boat. “I prefer to be safe rather than sorry,” Simasko said. “I would not actually throw the watch into the ocean until sister has either calmed down and backed off, or she has filed and completed the legal action to determine who owns the watch.”

Simasko explained that the “worst-case scenario is that son throws the watch into the ocean, sister sues, son doesn’t have the proper documentation showing the watch belongs to only him, court determines the watch should be sold, and the money should be split, but there is no property to sell so son has to pony up $50,000 to give his sister.”

However, this is avoidable if Matt just waits until the estate is officially settled. “Once the estate has been administered and the watch distributed, it belongs to the son. At that point, he has the same rights as any other owner, including the right to keep it, sell it, give it away, or yes, even throw it into the ocean,” Damaska said.

The siblings may still be able to find a solution

While Matt can act, the big question is whether he should or what other options are available.

“How to honor a lost loved one is one of the most complex and personal questions a person faces,” said Matthew Willner, an LCSW and psychotherapist licensed in New York, New Jersey and Colorado. “As a therapist who often works with clients navigating family decisions around estate planning, I would treat this issue for what it is: grief.”

Willner explained that “both siblings wish to honor their father’s legacy, and both believe that the other’s approach would be a waste at best, a betrayal at worst.” However, he also urged them to remember that since Matt inherited the watch free and clear, “that makes compromise a choice rather than an obligation.”

Willner suggested avoiding decisions while in acute grief, and having each “say what the watch means to them and what their plan protects for them.” This could help them find a compromise.

“The brother’s insistence that ‘no one but dad wears it,’ can be satisfied by keeping it in the family, perhaps framed as part of a memorial,” Willner said.

There’s also the matter of the funds. While Matt wants to bring his father’s watch back to the seaside town Alfred loved, $150,000 is no small sum to chuck away.