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Fear of being judged

No matter what kind of home you own or where you live, there are bound to be some feelings of inadequacy. (See: keeping up with the Joneses.) Even if you own a multi-million-dollar home, you could still end up harboring some fear of being judged.

A recent survey commissioned by Slickdeals found that 69% of Americans were embarrassed to have people over to their home, merely based on their aesthetic choices. Furthermore, half of respondents stated they had been judged over their decor choices.

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Who gets a vote?

So when random people come into your home with throwaway comments, should you really make financial decisions based on that? One phrase that has come up on Ramsey’s show when it comes to such matters has been, “Who gets a vote?”

In other words: When it comes to how you live your life, who in your life, apart from you, gets a vote?

A case could be made for your parents or partner, depending on the circumstances. But your roommate’s aunt? The answer in that scenario should be a big fat “no.”

“If you’re anchored in it and you really believe it, then you wouldn’t be embarrassed,” Ramsey said. “But if they’re actually right when they bring something up and you’re not that anchored in it, then that would throw you off.”

Ramsey added that there’s a reason he can commit himself to his lifestyle so clearly. He’s had the “benefit” of having gone completely and utterly broke. Back in 1988, he declared bankruptcy at age 26 when the bank called in his loans, according to Ramsey Solutions.

“Once you’ve gone completely broke, you really don’t care what other people think,” Ramsey said. “Affirmations are nice; I’m like anybody else, I like it. But I don’t have to have that to do anything.”

For this woman, Ramsey said, the question then becomes, “Why live this lifestyle in the first place?” She chose to stay within her means as a way to achieve a goal. Being content with the related decisions and anchoring them in your identity should allow her (or anyone) to see beyond someone else’s opinion. Because not anyone simply gets or deserves a vote.

“If your broke friends are making fun of your financial plans, then you’re right on track,” Ramsey said.

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About the Author

Amy Legate-Wolfe

Amy Legate-Wolfe

Freelance contributor

Amy Legate-Wolfe is an experienced personal finance writer and journalist. She has a Bachelor of Arts in History from the University of Toronto, a Freelance Writing Certificate in Journalism from the University of Toronto Schools, and a Master of Arts in Journalism from Western University. Amy has worked for Huffington Post,, CBC, Motley Fool Canada, and Financial Post. She is skilled at analyzing trends and creating content for digital and print platforms. In her free time, Amy enjoys reading and watching British dramas on BritBox. She is a mother and dog-mom to a Wheaten Terrier.

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