‘Why not me?’: Astronaut Kellie Gerardi says a ‘very specific mindset’ kept her going as she fought for her place in STEM, motherhood and the cosmos

Just days after giving birth to her second "space baby," after an enduring journey with IVF, Gerardi has partnered with Baby Quest to offer two $15,000 IVF grants for "families who are fighting for their dreams of parenthood."

"I couldn't think of a better way to honor the birth of my baby than giving more families the chance and the means to continue fighting for their dream family, as well," she tells Moneywise. "I wanted a tangible way to give back to the millions of people around the world who have circled me with community and support during some of my most difficult times and who have cheered on my journey."

By representing what's possible in both her line of work and family life — and being real about the good, the bad and the ugly all along the way — Gerardi is dismantling the status quo and breaking down barriers for women as both professionals and parents.

Paving a path for women in STEM through representation

Gerardi grew up in Jupiter, Florida, with unparalleled views of the Space Coast. She remembers standing outside with her family watching the sky light up, knowing in her heart that she wanted to be part of those missions one day.

As she grew older, she also became fascinated by the idea that space could be used as a laboratory to benefit humanity — and that the environmental microgravity could help answer questions about human health, fluid behavior and medicine in ways that simply aren't possible on Earth.

"There's a tidal wave of science waiting to benefit from access to space and that belief became the guiding north star of my career," she tells Moneywise.

Early in Gerardi's career, there was no precedent for a civilian payload specialist to be sent to space on a commercial spacecraft. To achieve her goals of being the first such civilian, she spent more than a decade laying the foundation "brick by brick." Her focus was on bioastronautics. She conducted microgravity research here on Earth in parabolic flight campaigns.

In 2023, her research institute announced her as their first-ever payload specialist contracted to fly on a dedicated science mission with Virgin Galactic. She would go to space to conduct fluid and biomedical research.

By Nov. 2, 2023, when Gerardi flew to space, fewer than 100 female astronauts had made this journey (by contrast, that figure is roughly 600 (2) for men). In fact, when Gerardi's mother, who attended her spaceflight, was growing up, women weren't even eligible to fly in the United States.

"One single generation later, [my mother] watched her daughter reach the stars — and watched her granddaughter take it completely for granted," she tells Moneywise. "I thought it was such a beautiful reminder of how much can change in a single generation."

In her daughter Delta's mind, flying to space wasn't anything "remarkable." Rather, it was "just another thing girls do." While Gerardi still can't close her eyes and picture someone who looks like her conducting research in space right now, if you ask Delta to draw an astronaut, she draws a woman.

"Representation changes the default," Gerardi says. "When I flew to space, it was really important to me to bring my full self for both my sake and my daughter's, to show up as I am and not tone down my personality or femininity to match someone else's expectation of a leader in this role. And I want kids to know that there isn't just one way to belong in these spaces."

Gerardi adds that she felt "incredibly well-trained" and "knew exactly what to expect" during her spaceflight, but nothing could have prepared her for the experience of seeing Earth from outside of it.

"I think the single most profound moment for me was looking back at Earth from space," she shares with Moneywise. "I was in absolute awe. I realized I was looking at everything I've ever known or loved, every human who has ever lived. It was one of those moments where the magnitude of where you are and how surreal it is to be there, really hits all at once."

She wants equal access to that experience — and others like it — for everyone. But to get there, she says that "you can't live by other people's limitations."

"A lot of the paths we're walking didn't exist before we walked them, but not being able to see the path doesn't mean it's not possible," she continues. "What kept me going was a very specific mindset. There was never the ego of 'oh, of course I'll succeed in this field or achieve this dream, I deserve it.' But there was the quiet confidence of, 'Well, if I work hard enough, for long enough, why not me?'"

Her advice when you feel boxed out? Dream bigger.

Challenging fertility taboos through vulnerable authenticity

Gerardi didn't just dream of bigger opportunities to see space from space or unearth more physiological outcomes in altered gravity while rocking her pink spacejacket (3) — because, as she puts it, "femininity and fun doesn't undermine credibility or professionalism." She has dreamt of a bigger family, too.

But she also felt held back due to an onslaught of medical complications and devastating pregnancy losses.

Gerardi is one of 20 million women worldwide (4) who experience acute, sometimes life-threatening, complications during pregnancy, child birth, or postpartum each year. In fact, 8% (5) of all pregnancies involve complications such as preeclampsia, gestational hypertension and gestational diabetes. Some health issues may not even present themselves for decades down the line (6) and many families can't even see the complications coming. Pre-pregnancy health issues account for only 8% (7) of the total population risk of severe maternal morbidity.

For many women, like Gerardi, problems can arise — and take over.

"Motherhood is a huge part of my identity, but it has also been a big struggle for me," Gerardi tells Moneywise. "For nearly eight years since my daughter was born, I've struggled with secondary infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss."

In sharing her struggles with candid vulnerability — offering a refreshing respite from otherwise methodically manicured social media feeds — Gerardi has built a massive online community with more than a million followers on Instagram alone.

"I had been sharing so much about my work and professional life, that it felt kind of remiss or disingenuous to not address the giant elephant that was sitting on top of me in my personal life," she explains. "Compartmentalizing just doesn't really work for me. And one of the insidious things about infertility or IVF is how it becomes the A-plot of your life and everything else gets shoved to the back. It's an all-consuming journey — mentally, physically, emotionally, financially. And, yet, we still have to show up for all of our other responsibilities in life."

For Gerardi, sharing her raw and revelatory experience was about shining a light on something that so many families navigate in silence.

"When I decided to share the reality of my IVF process, I knew going into it that success wasn't guaranteed," she adds. "I knew not every IVF story ends in pregnancy. And I had already mentally committed to sharing the reality of the good, the bad and the heartbreaking."

There was a lot of pressure on her — both spoken and unspoken — to stay positive, "think the right thoughts" and "find the magical protocol" to "do everything right" during her journey with infertility. But when she went through her most recent pregnancy loss with just a 3% chance of miscarriage at the stage she was in, she was faced head-on with the bitter reminder that you can do everything "right" and still "fall on the sad side of the statistics."

"You realize very quickly that [IVF] isn't something you can 'positive mindset' your way through," she says, adding that she found it incredibly important to feel her full range of emotions instead of feeling like she had to package them into something more palatable.