We're debt-free and have $750K saved for retirement — but I can’t stop growing our emergency fund. Why does $20K still feel like it's not enough?

But for Jenn, that sense of security hasn’t quite caught up to her reality.

For the longest time, the couple kept their emergency fund at a comfy $20,000. It felt like “enough.” Then, over time — and without any single financial disaster prompting it — that number started to creep upward. First to $25,000. Then $30,000. More recently, $35,500. Now, the next milestone in Jenn’s mind is $40,000.

Her husband, on the other hand, doesn’t see the need. He argues that, with their retirement savings on track and no debt, their financial cushion is already more than sufficient. In his view, extra cash should be enjoyed in the present — not endlessly parked in savings “just in case.”

They don’t have kids, which, in theory, should simplify the equation. But instead of clarity, Jenn finds herself wondering why, if they’re this financially stable, it still doesn’t feel like enough?

When is it ‘enough?’

Jenn’s not alone in asking that question — even if, on paper, her situation would feel solid to most people. That gap between “we’re fine” and “I feel fine” is really what’s driving the tension.

“I see this phenomenon all the time in my practice,” Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a LMSW and financial therapist, told Moneywise in an interview. “There are an infinite number of reasons why there’s a gap between the reality of having enough financially and what it takes for someone to feel emotionally secure with their finances.”

She adds that emotional security with money often isn’t purely logical and can be shaped by upbringing, culture and past financial experiences.

A lot of households have been in a similar headspace since COVID. Even with steady incomes and higher savings than a few years ago, there’s often still a low-level worry that doesn’t fully go away.

Some researchers call this the “conflicted middle” — people who look financially stable but still aren’t fully confident they could handle the next unexpected expense. A joint Edward Jones–Gallup survey found that about 51% of U.S. adults fall into that group, somewhere between stability and ongoing uncertainty.

An emergency fund is supposed to be simple: money set aside for job loss, medical bills and other unexpected expenses. But for some people, it doesn’t stay that clean. That’s what some experts refer to as “goalpost moving” — when the idea of “enough” keeps shifting even after you’ve already hit your original target.

“Psychologically, it is often fear or anxiety that drives oversaving,” Bryan-Podvin said. “Practically and emotionally speaking, it’s hard to shift from saving to redirecting those funds elsewhere, whether safely spending money or investing in something else, like a brokerage account.”

In other words, even after reaching a savings goal, it can feel difficult to reassign that money elsewhere without a sense of losing security.

There’s also a lot of bias at play. Losses tend to feel heavier than gains feel good, so even when the numbers are solid, it’s easy for the mind to drift toward what could go wrong instead of what’s already working.

When partners don’t line up on risk, it shows up fast. One person sees a $30,000-plus cushion and thinks it’s plenty. The other wants more breathing room. Neither is really wrong — they’re just not working from the same sense of what “safe” feels like.

As Bryan-Podvin explains, that tension often comes down to how each partner defines “financial safety.” One might feel secure with a larger, year-long cash buffer, while the other feels comfortable after reaching something closer to a six-month emergency fund and prefers to direct additional money toward investing.

“Finding a happy middle usually means a collaboration,” she added. “Collaboration is a win-win, whereas compromise is a win-lose.” Bryan-Podvin suggests that couples benefit from explicitly defining what “enough” and “financial safety” mean to each person before deciding how to allocate savings.

A 2024 report on emergency savings found that many Americans still don’t feel confident about their cash buffers, even as their finances improve. Emergency savings consistently ranks among the top financial concerns across income groups, suggesting the anxiety isn’t limited to those who are struggling.

Are you oversaving?

At some point, the question stops being just about protection and starts becoming about tradeoffs.

Most financial planners suggest keeping an emergency fund somewhere around three-to-six months’ worth of essential expenses, adjusted for things like job stability and income risk. After that you can keep adding to it, but for a lot of households, the added benefit starts to shrink.