My single and childless aunt died, leaving the family home to a cousin who moved away years ago — I think it should have gone to me. What can I do?

Her aunt had never married or had children. So, while Sarah wouldn’t describe their relationship as close, she lived nearby and helped out when her ailing aunt became less mobile.

It was only after her aunt passed away and the will was read that the remaining cousins discovered their aunt had left the house to a cousin, Michael, who had moved abroad decades ago. Michael rarely returned to the U.S. and, from Sarah’s point of view, did nothing to support her aunt during those final months.

Now Sarah is shocked and disappointed. She thought she’d inherit the house that her mother grew up in. Now she’s wondering if she has any recourse, or if she just has to accept the fact that her cousin is likely to sell the family home.

Contesting a will

Disputes over an inheritance — especially a family home — can create an immense amount of stress for family members. In many cases, it’s not just about money. One family member might have a strong emotional connection to the family home, while another might just want to cash out.

And when a sibling — or, in this case, a cousin — feels the inheritance is unfair, it can cause irreparable damage to family relationships.

It’s not uncommon for a sibling or relative (or even a close friend) to serve as a primary caregiver to a loved one and expect that their contributions will be later reflected in the inheritance. That’s especially the case when other family members don’t contribute as much (or at all) to that person’s care.

However, to contest a will, you need a legal standing, such as proof of mental incapacity (where the owner of the will, or testator, didn’t understand what they were signing), undue influence (where the testator was pressured or tricked into changing the will) or fraud. If the will wasn’t properly executed — say, it wasn’t witnessed according to local rules — then it could also be contested.

If the testator had a previous will that left you an inheritance, but a newer will cuts you out, then you may be able to contest it in court.

But simply believing that you should have inherited something, or that the distribution is unfair, isn’t likely to stand up in court.

You also have to be a legal heir or prior beneficiary to contest a will. So, for example, a close friend who served as a caretaker and was never named in the will (or any prior versions) wouldn’t be considered a beneficiary.

Whatever the case, contesting a will is a time-consuming and emotionally draining process that could drag on for years. It’s also a costly one — and legal fees could end up whittling away your inheritance.

Plus, if the will has a no-contest clause, it means that if any beneficiary challenges the will and that challenge fails, they forfeit their entire inheritance.

If you’re considering contesting a will, it’s advisable to work with a probate attorney who can advise you on the strength of your case. Before it gets to that point, however, there are a few other options to consider.

Resolving inheritance disputes

If you have assets you are passing down, you can nip inheritance stressors in the bud by talking about them with family members before you’re gone. It might be an uncomfortable conversation, but it could save your loved ones both emotional and financial stress later on.

For example, Sarah’s aunt could have talked to her nieces and nephews about who she was leaving the house to and why.

If you’re uncomfortable having this conversation, you could call a family meeting (in person or virtual) — or speak with each beneficiary separately, with your lawyer, estate planner or financial advisor present to provide some structure to the conversation.

But most families don’t have this conversation.

Fidelity Investment’s latest Family & Finance study found that while 97% of families recognize the importance of discussing their estate plans, only about half (52%) have actually done so. And nearly half haven’t told their adult children what — if anything — they’re inheriting.

That could leave their adult children blindsided when the will is read — say, if they don’t inherit what they expect to, or if their inheritance is eaten up by the estate to pay off their parents’ debts.

While Sarah may not have been happy about it, knowing that she wouldn’t inherit her mother’s childhood home before her aunt passed away would have helped to temper her expectations. And she might have had a better understanding of why her aunt made that decision in the first place.

For example, Sarah is assuming her cousin did nothing for their aunt, but maybe it turns out that he had been supporting her financially for years, sending money from abroad.