Feb 24, 2025
When it comes to splitting living expenses, things can get complicated — especially when one person isn’t pulling their weight.
That was the challenge one Reddit user says she faced when her sister’s boyfriend moved into the home their parents gave them but didn’t pitch in financially. While the sister saw it as a temporary solution since he couldn’t afford his own place, the user felt uneasy about the arrangement from the start.
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“He wasn’t contributing financially, and I felt it wasn’t fair for me to keep supporting him indirectly. So, after a lot of arguments, I made the decision to ask him to leave,” the Reddit user explained.
With housing costs rising, it’s not uncommon for couples — or even siblings — to move in together to save money. But when one party isn’t paying their fair share, it creates an uncomfortable reality: someone is footing the bill and resentment is bound to follow.
The user ultimately set a boundary and asked their sister’s boyfriend to move out. But now, with her sister and her boyfriend planning to get married shortly — and his financial habits unchanged — she’s wondering if she made the right call.
One-sided burden
Moving in with a partner often seems like a smart financial decision — splitting rent, sharing utilities, and cooking meals together can lighten the financial load. With the average U.S. rent sitting at $1,748, according to RentCafe, cohabitating can make housing costs more manageable.
But when one person isn’t contributing, what starts as a cost-saving arrangement can quickly turn into a financial burden.
“They’re planning to get married in three months, but he still hasn’t secured his own place. I can’t help but feel like he’s waiting for her to rent a home so they can split the cost — or that he expects her to support him the way she did before,” the user shared.
Their concern isn’t unfounded. The boyfriend never took the initiative to contribute, even after finding a job. Instead of becoming financially independent, he bounced between different living arrangements, relying on the sister to provide stability. And they’re not alone — more than 1 in 4 people admit to frequently feeling frustrated by their partner’s money habits but letting it go to keep the peace. But financial imbalances don’t disappear on their own, and overlooking them now could lead to even bigger challenges down the road.
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But will marriage fix it?
Now the couple is planning to get married. But while wedding bells are ringing, the financial issues that caused tension in the past still haven’t been addressed. And if he isn’t showing signs of financial stability now, what will change after the wedding?
Money remains one of the leading causes of marital strain. A study by Cardinal Concepts reported that 37% of divorces cite financial problems as the primary reason for separation.
“Financially stressed individuals who need to have these conversations the most are the least likely to have them,” Emily Garbinsky, associate professor in the Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management, told the Cornell Chronicle.
If you’re heading toward marriage, now might be the time to sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation about finances. Discussing monthly budgets, how much each person will contribute to household expenses, and your long-term financial goals can prevent major conflicts down the line. While love is the foundation of a relationship, financial stability plays a key role in keeping that foundation strong.
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Victoria Vesovski is a Toronto-based staff reporter at Moneywise covering personal finance, lifestyle and trending news. She holds degrees from the University of Toronto and New York University, and her work has appeared on platforms including Yahoo Finance, MSN Money and Apple News.
