How much does it really cost to secure a Valentine’s Day date? Here’s what singles are spending in their search for ‘The One’

The “all-in” price of a date, factoring in everything from pre-date grooming to gas, comes in at nearly $168. And if sparks are flying, it typically takes around 10 dates before things get serious. That adds up to roughly $1,678 just to secure your Valentine.

Between the cost of living alone and picking up the tab for dates that are sometimes underwhelming or destined to go nowhere, dating is pricey. And it’s not just a Valentine’s Day dilemma — it’s a year-round reality.

Who’s really buying the overpriced chocolate?

Valentine’s Day may be the ultimate Hallmark holiday but not every couple feels the need to go all out to show their love. While seasoned couples often embrace simplicity, modern dating tells a different story — one where spending has become part of the deal.

“It's clear that dating or being in a relationship today comes with pressure to spend which can affect how well people are able to stay on track for their goals," says Paul Dilda, Head of U.S. Consumer Strategy at BMO. Gen Z knows this all too well. With a median of 14 dates in the past year, they’ve spent an estimate of $2,676. That’s a lot of oat milk lattes, rooftop drinks and “just one more round” moments. And 46% of Gen Z singles admitted to feeling pressure to plan expensive dates.

It’s not just dating, the cost of living is also creeping up on singles. While there’s an undeniable luxury in living alone but then comes the first of the month, when bills start rolling in. Suddenly, the peaceful solitude feels less glamorous and more expensive. According to a study by Zillow, the so-called “singles tax” can cost thousands of dollars each year, simply for the luxury of living alone — especially in New York City. In the Big Apple, it can cost singles an average of $20,100 more over the year.

According to Match’s Singles in America study, money tops the list of stressors for those flying solo. About 24% say their day-to-day personal finances are a major source of stress, while 21% point to the economy, and another 21% blame inflation. Turns out, being single isn’t just emotionally taxing — it’s financially exhausting too.

The singles tax

If you’re single, living alone and feeling the financial pinch, there are ways to ease the burden and still enjoy dating. For starters, consider getting a roommate. Yes, it means sharing your space but with the right person ideally someone who appreciates a good rom-com and knows the magic of wiping down the kitchen counter, it can feel less like a compromise and more like an upgrade.

When it comes to dating, Gen Z could take a cue from baby boomers, who may remember the point of dating being more about connection than cost. Consider simple activities like going for a walk in your local park. Instead of pricey dinners, opt for casual spots like a local cafe or food trucks where the focus stays on conversation not the bill.

It’s important to shift the focus from what you're spending to the connection you’re building. Finding inexpensive shared interests like hiking, visiting museums or attending community events, can lead to more meaningful experiences.

And you don’t have to be afraid to communicate openly about your budget. Being upfront about wanting to keep things simple isn’t unromantic — it’s honest and can help strengthen your bond with the right person.