Dec 8, 2025
No one walks down the aisle thinking about the exit, but divorce still finds its way to about one in three Americans who’ve ever been married, according to Pew Research.
And when it does, it can upend every corner of your life — from where you live to how you parent to what’s left in your bank account. (1)
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Even in the most civil separations, dividing finances can get messy. But when a soon-to-be ex starts getting creative with the numbers, heartbreak can quickly turn into financial blindsiding.
Family law attorney Emily Rubenstein says most people imagine “hiding money” as something dramatic, like stashing large sums offshore or tucking them into a secret account. But, as she told The Washington Post, that kind of move is“pretty easy to see in banking documents.” (2)
Rubenstein recalls one case where a client’s spouse had been withdrawing small amounts of cash from an ATM every week for three years. The pattern looked harmless — even routine — until the total reached more than $100,000 that couldn’t be accounted for.
“I’ve seen all these games many times,” Rubenstein said.
If you’re not quite at the stage of filing but something feels off, there are signs worth watching for before you’re served and blindsided.
More than just the cash
When it comes to divorce, it’s not always about the money — sometimes it’s about the stuff.
From lawn mowers to luxury handbags, household assets meant to be divided can go missing long before the paperwork is filed.
Hanna Morell, an Oregon-based financial coach, noticed something strange when she couldn’t find her family’s lawn mower while cataloging items for her lawyer. The mystery deepened until she discovered her husband had rented part of a storage unit from a friend.
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She wasn’t alone in her suspicions. A recent study found that more than 40% of married or cohabitating U.S. adults have kept a financial secret from their partner. (3) That tracks closely with a 2021 National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) survey showing 43% have engaged in some form of financial deception. (4)
Morell decided to get proactive by snapping photos of valuables around the house she suspected might go missing. When they did, she confronted her husband, who claimed he had “no idea” where they’d gone. But during the divorce proceedings, those photos became evidence.
“When he realized that he wasn’t going to get away with that, he ended up finding those items, and they were returned,” Morrell’s client said.
Financial coach Christine Luken of Kentucky recalls a similar case. One of her clients, married for 17 years, noticed odd spending after a judge ordered the couple’s financial arrangements to remain unchanged until the divorce was finalized. Among the transactions: payments for a “carpet stretching service” from a friend’s company and checks made out to the husband’s mother and sister-in-law for supposed babysitting and cleaning.
“He was probably having that funnel right back to him,” Luken’s client said.
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Preparing for the fallout
When emotions run high, money often becomes a weapon — and the best defense is preparation.
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Luken says one of the most effective safeguards is a prenuptial agreement, which outlines each partner’s rights and responsibilities during the marriage and in the event of a divorce.
“At its core, a prenup encourages honesty, transparency, and open dialogue,” Libby Leffler, founder and CEO of the online prenuptial company First, told Vogue. (5) Most importantly, a prenup can also help ensure that debts remain personal, safeguard family heirlooms, or provide for a secure financial future.”
Marriage is a legal contract, and every state has its own laws governing how assets are divided when that contract ends — and those distinctions matter.
In community property states, assets acquired during a marriage are typically split 50/50. In equitable distribution states, however, the court divides property based on what it considers fair, which doesn’t always mean equal. Without a prenup, the state decides for you, and that outcome may not align with your expectations or financial goals.
It’s also vital to keep tabs on shared accounts and household bills. During a separation, monitor any accounts that list both names. A spouse could delay payments to hurt your credit score or take on new debt under your shared obligations. In many states, any debt accumulated during the marriage is considered joint — even if only one person was swiping the card.
In divorce, emotions can cloud judgment, but preparation helps ensure your finances stay crystal clear.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Pew Research (1); Washington Post (2); Bank Rate (3); Nefe (4); Vogue (5.
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Victoria Vesovski is a Toronto-based Staff Reporter at Moneywise, where she covers the intersection of personal finance, lifestyle and trending news. She holds an Honours Bachelor of Arts from the University of Toronto, a postgraduate certificate in Publishing from Toronto Metropolitan University and a Master’s degree in American Journalism from New York University’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. Her work has been featured in publications including Apple News, Yahoo Finance, MSN Money, Her Campus Media and The Click.
