Dumbest Legal Defenses That People Have Actually Tried

These defendants were way out of order.

Cropped image of judge giving verdict by hitting mallet at desk Andrey_Popov / Shutterstock

You might think real-life courtrooms are boring compared to what you see in movies and on TV. Well, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

People in trouble will try anything to weasel their way out. From ridiculous logic to bald-faced lies, it's just another day in court for these judges who have heard it all.

These are some of the worst — and funniest — defenses to disgrace the courtroom.

Comments have been edited for grammar and clarity.

30. A humerus attempt

Man feels strong pain in elbow. People, healthcare and medicine concept
aleks333 / Shutterstock
Raising his arm, not the bar.

There was a guy suing someone else after a traffic accident and claimed the movement of his arm was permanently reduced.

The judge didn’t believe him for one minute and nobody did, really. Then he was asked how high he could lift his arm.

He ‘grimaced’ as he painstakingly raised his arm, before saying, “Here.” For reference he had lifted his arm about parallel to the ground.

Judge gives a slight smirk and asks him how high he could lift his arm before — the guy lifts his arm all the way up and exclaims, “Here!”

The case got thrown out, as you can imagine.

| Pesoot3

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29. You’ve got to be kitten me

Animal food in paper bags
jocic / Shutterstock
She wanted to be repaid right meow.

Might not exactly be a bad defense, but when I was going through the legal system with my ex-wife, there was a case before ours between a woman and her son.

She was suing him over a bag of cat food. He took a bag and never paid her for it after he’d promised.

He was just kind of like, “Yeah, I never paid her back and I probably never will.”

What’s worse is the judge sounded so casual about it like it was a normal thing for him to hear.

I can’t believe someone was taken to court over a bag of cat food.

| FreeFile