I grew up poor in Louisiana but worked hard to become a doctor and now earn over $200K a year. My family treats me like an ATM, but I have bills to pay and a life to build — what can I do?

Set — and stick to — boundaries

When you're frequently asked for cash, the first step is to set clear boundaries for yourself and those making the requests.

Take a close look at your budget and financial goals, and decide how much you can realistically afford to contribute. This will depend on factors like student loans, savings goals, and how obligated you feel toward your family, especially if they’ve supported you in the past.

Once you've set an amount, have an honest conversation. Let them know you have $X available and want to work together to use it wisely, such as helping them pay off a debt or recurring bill.

Be clear that you're contributing only this amount and won't be able to contribute further if they don’t respect your boundaries. Stick to your decision, and once they see you’re serious, they will hopefully stop asking.

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Help your family build financial security

Giving loved ones money to solve financial problems isn't a long-term solution. Instead, help them find ways to rely on your cash.

You could assist them in creating a budget or starting an emergency fund, so they’re better prepared for unexpected expenses. If they're struggling, you might also help them apply for government benefits to ease some of the burden.

By addressing the root issues that cause them to ask for cash, you can reduce their need to rely on you.

Look for other ways you can help them save

Consider other ways to help them spend less without giving a direct handout.

For example, you could add them to your family cell phone plan to reduce their phone bills or take them shopping at Costco using your membership so they can save on groceries.

The key is that you don't have to give them money, but if you've succeeded financially while they struggle, finding ways to help them without compromising your own goals can strengthen your relationship — and that's often a worthwhile investment.