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Millennial women say they can’t afford kids today

Recent research from Credit Karma shows that of millennial women who don’t want children, 40% say it’s because they can’t afford them.

Many Americans do not feel financially stable — with little to no funds saved for an emergency, let alone the expenses that come with raising a child.

“I couldn’t imagine raising a child in this economy at all,” 30-year-old TikToker Mikee Garcia, who lives in Washington, told Moneywise. “Generations before us could raise a family on one income — and now people are barely able to afford to live on two.”

Gloria Garcia Cisneros, a certified financial planner based in Los Angeles, says even her more affluent clients are delaying having children or planning heavily around having kids in order to deal with the costs. Some of them are considering ways to boost their incomes, cut down on non-essential expenses or even move to states that have a lower cost-of-living just to make it work.

Garcia Cisneros notes that housing affordability is a huge factor, especially for folks who want a bigger space to accommodate kids. Median house prices are now six times the median income — a jump from four to five times 20 years ago — according to non-partisan publication EconoFact.

And inflation has hit everything from groceries and gas to diapers and kids’ clothing as well.

Sanchez reveals she and her husband are currently living paycheck to paycheck, with $1,600 going toward their mortgage on their one-bedroom apartment each month. She believes the added costs of baby essentials, schooling and child care and potentially moving into a bigger home in Florida to be closer to her mother could cost her at least a year’s salary.

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The costs of child care are continuing to rise

Although Sanchez’s job grants her six months of paid maternity leave, she says after that period either her husband would stay home (which would mean forgoing one income) or they would need to cough up the funds for daycare.

Care.com’s 2024 report reveals parents are spending nearly a quarter of their household income on child care — with many experiencing lengthy waitlists or paying higher costs due to the canceling, last year, of pandemic-era funding that kept thousands of childcare programs afloat.

“Within the first five years of their child’s life, parents are being forced into a financial hole that is nearly impossible to climb out of,” said Brad Wilson, CEO of Care.com, in the report.

Even the expense of giving birth can come into play. In the U.S., health costs associated with pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum care average a total of $18,865, according to the Peterson-KFF Health System Tracker.

And nearly one-third of millennial women who don’t have children in the Credit Karma report point to the cost of fertility treatments, egg freezing, adoption or surrogacy keeping them from family planning as well.

Extra costs for same-sex couples

Canadians Nicole Skutelnik and Nikki La Croce, both aged 36, explain that the costs of having children are far more complex for a same-sex couple or folks who can’t conceive on their own.

“[It could cost] tens of thousands of dollars, to try for kids, first and foremost, and then in a case where that doesn't work out, now you're going multiple rounds, and it ends up being just such a significant amount of money that you spent before you even have the child,” La Croce, who grew up in Pennsylvania, explains. “I think it would be really draining emotionally.”

Skutelnik, who posted a viral video last year with a list of 163 reasons why she didn’t want kids, notes that with housing affordability moving further out of reach, it’s entirely possible that a child would be unable to move out even after enter entering adulthood.

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Moving away from the traditional ‘American Dream’

For folks who do want kids but are worried about money, Garcia Cisneros says it’s important to start planning — like setting up that emergency fund or saving for child care and postpartum costs.

In some cases, she adds, you might also need to consider sacrificing certain things, like a big home with a backyard or a college fund for your kids.

Of course, some millennials aren’t interested in becoming parents regardless of how much money they make — even though finances are still a consideration.

“Even if I did want kids, I don't feel like it would be enough to feel secure and still get to have the life that I want,” Skutelnik says, adding that the financial stress of straining to make ends meet would prevent her from being a good parent too.

Garcia says she knew at 16 years old she didn’t want to have kids. She got her fallopian tubes tied to prevent pregnancy when she was 25, which was fully covered by her insurance, and she says the procedure was totally worth it.

She explains that she and her husband were able to purchase their first home, which is an investment that many Americans among their age cohort are struggling to afford and might not have been a possibility if they did have kids.

They pay about $2,200 a month on their mortgage and have fully paid off loans on Garcia’s Honda Civic and her husband’s Jeep, while enjoying vacations abroad as well.

“I love my freedom,” she says. “We're able to just get ourselves things that just make our lives so much easier.”

Garcia Cisneros points to a mindset shift among millennial and Gen Z Americans as well. Younger generations are moving away from traditional pathways, like getting married, purchasing a home and having kids, and spending more on experiences and what brings them joy.

“If we're not gonna be able to have the ‘American Dream’ anymore, then how do we make something that does work for us?” she says, offering examples of friends purchasing property together​​ or folks living more nomadic lifestyles through travel. “Now we have options, and there's technology and there's access, so it just changes the game completely, redefining what life can look like for us without embracing what used to be normal.”

La Croce knows she never wants to have kids, but she loves being an aunt to her niece and nephew. She and Skutelnik say it’s incredibly important for them to be good role models to the children that are in their lives, even if they don’t have children themselves.

“And also it affords me the opportunity to spoil them a little bit more,” La Croce adds. “I can be more liberal with my spending with children that aren't mine.”

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Serah Louis is a reporter with Moneywise.com. She enjoys tackling topical personal finance issues for young people and women and covering the latest in financial news.

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