19. Mrs. Potato Head
PettyClegg / Twitter
Years from now, when we’re telling our grandchildren about what life was like during the great pandemic of ’20, the one bright spot in an otherwise dreary tale will be the woman whose face turned into a potato.
It’s unclear why she engaged the potato filter – or why such a filter even exists – but we sincerely hope she never figures out how to turn it off. Stay Yukon gold, potato lady.
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18. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords
missalwayswrite / Twitter
This is actually a great idea. Why not set up our virtual assistants to attend all those mundane conference calls for us? Things will run a lot more efficiently, and we won’t have to scramble to take notes or worry about saying something dumb in front of the whole office.
Of course, there’s a small possibility our obsolescence could lead to some sort of robot uprising — but at this point, would that really be so terrible? As long as they don’t tamper with our streaming services, we’ll be fine.
17. Tangled-up teleconference
kalebcoleman / Twitter
One of the most awkward parts about working from home is the dreaded stop-and-start teleconference, with everyone constantly talking over one another and apologizing.
The best way to avoid talking over your co-workers is to choose your moments wisely. Don’t just jump in with a thought any time one pops into your head. Instead, wait for the perfect time to strike — immediately after your less tactful colleagues finish saying sorry.
16. Telling a co-worker to zip it
KatetheIH / Twitter
Rule No. 1 of working from home: Always mute your mic on a conference call when you’re not addressing the team. Always.
It’s hard enough to get through a meeting without only losing every third word because somebody’s roommate is blending up a week’s worth of smoothies.
Not muting your mic is the equivalent of hitting reply-all on a company-wide email. Don’t do it.
15. Strutting her stuff on a conference call
MyriamCarle / Twitter
If working from home has taught us anything, it’s that no shared space is safe from the prying eyes and ears of a webcam-enabled Zoom meeting.
For example, you might think you can make it the 10 feet from your bathroom to your bedroom in just a towel, but you better make sure that thing is securely wrapped unless you want your spouse’s entire office to know you a lot more intimately.
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14. At home, no one can hear you meme
*aaron_wilcox / Twitter
Isn’t it weird that you’re actually starting to miss all of those co-workers you usually find so annoying? Like the guy who yawns without covering his mouth, or the woman who’s constantly cracking her knuckles or the dirty thief who keeps stealing your lunch even though YOUR NAME IS ON THE BAG.
Maybe once we’re able to go back to the office we’ll all have a new appreciation for our colleagues? Nah, probably not.
13. Talking to yourself
meredithahenry / Twitter
Things can get pretty boring when you’re social distancing. The odd email helps break up the monotony — even if you’re the one who sent it.
Don’t be surprised if you find yourself sifting through your spam folder out of desperation. Just remember, no matter how tempting it sounds, the offer to split a million-dollar inheritance with a Nigerian prince is probably not legit.
12. When your makeshift office lets you down
zmohlis / Twitter
Unless you already had a dedicated office space in your home before going into lockdown, you likely had to MacGyver up a workstation using whatever was lying around.
Who says a stack of empty beer cases can’t be a desk? So what if the closest thing you have to a computer chair is an old La-Z-Boy you found on the curb? As long as your motivational Scarface poster is out of the frame during conference calls, you’re golden.
11. What they can’t see won’t hurt them
nooneswatching / Twitter
The bad news? Your kids are going to be home all day for months, and your house is going to get absolutely trashed.
The good news? As long as you keep an area of about three square feet tidy, and be careful about how you adjust your webcam, no one will ever know.
Even if you don’t have kids, now is a great opportunity to live like a slob for a while. It’s not like you’re going to have company over anytime soon.
10. Say cheese!
LWBurton17 / Twitter
It’s always embarrassing when you realize you’ve had food on your face, but it’s especially painful when it happens after a conference call.
There’s a good chance that your crumb-covered mug was blown up to twice its actual size on somebody’s giant monitor. Depending on how well-liked you are around the office, your co-workers may have taken many, many screenshots.
9. Cribs: Work From Home Edition
RGA / Twitter
Let’s be honest, you probably never expected your co-workers to get so much as a glimpse at the inside of your place. But now the whole office gets to see it all the time, and judge you based on your cheap curtains and poor feng shui.
If you’re feeling insecure about your digs, just remember that everybody else is in the same boat. Anyone whose Zoom frame includes a marble bust or a decorative vase is trying way too hard. Your curtains are fine.
8. Tell no one
*Darrell_Nelson / Twitter *
If you’re working from home in the same space as your partner, you’ve probably been exposed to a side of them you hadn’t seen before. A disturbing, “professional” side.
It can be jarring to hear your special someone use their work voice, especially if they’re prone to spouting off terms like “deep dive,” “ASAP” or the shudder-inducing “circle back.”
Non-disclosure agreements might actually be a smart idea for couples sharing a work space. Also, complete memory scrubs. Is that a thing yet?
7. Got a latte to learn
MikeMalenfant / Twitter
Anyone whose pre-coronavirus work routine included a fancy coffee is likely experiencing severe macchiato withdrawal right now.
Unless you have a $3,000 espresso machine, trying to make an upscale coffee at home is an uphill battle. Steaming your own milk is surprisingly tricky –– not to mention dangerous.
Spraying a gob of canned whipped cream onto a cup of instant decaf just doesn’t cut it.
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6. The call of the wild
stanhoraczek / Twitter
Pets don’t make great co-workers. They’re demanding, obnoxious and have a complete disregard for personal space. They’re basically a walking HR complaint — only they’re so darn cute that we all just tolerate it.
But having everyone home all day has got to be strange for them too. They’re used to enjoying at least a few hours every day with free rein of the house. Valuable time spent rooting around in the garbage, jumping onto forbidden surfaces and licking themselves with reckless abandon.
Come to think of it, our pets might hate this whole social-distancing thing even more than we do.
5. All gussied up and nowhere to go
Bovidiva / Twitter
If ever there was a time to let your kid take a crack at being your personal stylist, it’s now. Pretty much everyone in the country looks like a trainwreck these days. None of us have had a haircut, dye job or wax in weeks, and it shows.
Pro tip: Only children over the age of 12 should be permitted to cut your hair, and even then, make them start on the back.
4. Brother, can you spare a computer cable?
heartsfromstars / Twitter
Forgetting stuff at the office is always annoying, but it’s extra frustrating when the building is on lockdown for who knows how long. Just think about how many pages you’re going to have to rip off your desk calendar when it’s finally safe to go back in there.
Online stores must be making a killing right now on all the stuff people didn’t think to bring home with them: USB cords, mouse pads, that gigantic bag of leftover Halloween candy stashed in the bottom drawer of your desk. Unfortunately, some things are irreplaceable.
3. Dance like no one's watching, including your husband's co-workers
thelindsayist / Twitter
Being cooped up inside all day can drive you stir-crazy, and sometimes the best way to shake off the quarantine blues is to just dance it out –– in front of your husband’s entire office.
There’s a lot to be said for spreading joy during a global pandemic, and frankly, anyone who doesn’t appreciate a well-executed Carlton dance probably has a heart made of stone. So don’t be afraid to let your geek flag fly.
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2. Something smells funny… Oh wait, it's me
Jen_Kaye / Twitter
It’s a good thing B.O. can’t be transmitted over the internet, because most of us are getting a bit ripe these days. Funny how basic hygiene goes out the window when you don’t have to worry about anyone coming within a 10-foot radius.
Keep in mind that one of the main symptoms of COVID-19 is a loss of the sense of smell, so stewing in your own juices is actually one more way to stay vigilant. At least that’s what we’ve been telling ourselves.
1. Old habits die hard
elainevydra / Twitter
At the office, everything had a system. You swiped your fob to get in. You pressed 9 to dial out. You placed your lunch order before 11:00 or else you were stuck eating whatever slop was being served in the cafeteria that day.
But working from home, none of that stuff applies anymore. We’re all flying by the seat of our sweatpants, and it’s total anarchy.
Thankfully, it won’t last forever. The quarantine will end, and all of those old habits will come in handy once more. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re still stuck in office mode. Think of it as a pleasant reminder that things were normal once, and they’ll be normal again someday soon. At least, soon-ish.