1. Shotgun wedding
My wife dragged me to a wedding that I did NOT want to be at years ago but I'm forever grateful that she did, because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops.
Bride's LOVER spoke up at that moment and yelled, "I'll be darned if I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry sucker!" This deranged old redneck proceeds to come at the groom threatening to hurt him if he doesn't give her up.
It wasn't a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people but every single one of them went screaming and running. Maybe two people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife's hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
2. Tie the NOT!
The best man at my step sister’s wedding did this. It happened at the rehearsal the night before. It was a very large wedding and the rehearsal was bigger than a lot of weddings.
The minister was going over the vows quickly while giving instructions on what to do.
When he said something about objections, the best man interrupted saying he had to put a stop to this. He was in love with the bride and was sure she felt the same way. My sister and everyone else was horrified. It caused plenty of chaos and confusion.
After that, neither the bride nor the groom ever spoke to him again.
3. A love triangle (or square, or ... pentagon)
A wedding I was at, one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons including one guy's love for the groom.
By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. The audience was still pretty shocked and confused, but most of us had caught on.
I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and family and friends. It was pretty hilarious, but I definitely don't recommend it, unless you know for sure that the groom has a sense of humor.
4. Runaway grooms
This happened very recently, but in a different manner.
For years, the groom and the best man are super close, room together, and the running joke is that they’re more than friends. Later on, the groom meets bride, falls in love, and proposes. New running joke is that the best man is very disappointed that the groom is marrying someone else.
At the wedding, officiant asks if anyone has objections. Best man objects. Officiant quickly overrules the objection. It was planned, and bride thought it was a funny way to acknowledge the super close friendship between the two of them.
Did not result in anyone being kicked out or awkwardness. Fun and surprisingly appropriate.
5. After the ceremony comes deception
I was working at a wedding when I was younger. I was running the bar at the reception, when I noticed one of the male guests was sitting there by himself.
Less than 30 seconds later, another guy who’s dressed extremely well (turned out to be the groom), walks in, punches him in the back of the head and leaves.
I eventually found out that he had walked into the reception, admitted to having an affair with the bride.
He was never invited to the wedding, he just felt the groom needed to know. So he found out where the wedding was, suited up and dropped the info mid-party.
6. Here comes the tide
There was an objection that happened at my own wedding, but not in the traditional way. We were getting married along a river at the end of summer and tons of wakeboarders and boats were out.
I was a ball of nerves and the ceremony felt so serious... when all of a sudden some dude on a boat blasting music screamed, “Don’t do it, bro!” and sped off.
It was actually hilarious and made the rest of the ceremony a lot more fun. My husband and I cracked up even though his brothers looked like they were about to jump in the river after the guy!
7. Something old, something WHO?
I used to be an audio engineer, and one day I was running sound for this one small chapel. The officiant got to the “I object” portion of the ceremony. A woman stood up and said something, my station was recessed into the wall and I couldn't quite hear her, she spoke for five or six seconds and the room had a few upset/shocked sounds.
Another woman on the side of the room near me just spoke up saying, "Don't you listen to nothing she has to say! You two go ahead and get married!"
The room laughed and the ceremony persisted.
I would pay anything to know what was said.
8. Brawling betrothed
This was in the early 70s in semi-rural Washington state. My cousin was getting married, and my aunt and the mother of the groom did not get along well.
During the ceremony, when the pastor got to the part about objecting, my aunt said something to my uncle and the groom’s mom jumped up and grabbed my aunt by the hair, and they started going at it, all the way out the door and into the parking area. The fight went on for a good few minutes before anyone intervened.
They were separated, and everyone filed back into the barn, where the wedding continued. They were seated very far apart this time around.
9. Ham hocked
My cousin had her wedding on a farm.
From what I remember, there was a massive amount of people. Anyway, her father and my other older cousin never really got along. At one point during the reception my older cousin had enough and absolutely lost it.
He disappeared and a few minutes later comes back with a 20 pound bag of pork meat from the freezer.
He walks down to where my cousin’s dad is (my aunt proceeds to yell, “Lonnie NO!”) and smacks him right in the side of the face with the bag of meat. An all-out family brawl ensued.
The whole family hasn't been invited to a wedding ever since.
10. Altar-ed perceptions
I was a waiter for a venue that had a lot of weddings. We typically watched the wedding ourselves from the second floor and waited for everyone to come up for the reception.
A guest for the wedding arrived a few hours early, so he sat in the restaurant and had a few too many drinks. He yelled "DON'T DO IT [bride’s name here]. HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU."
There were the typical gasps in the crowd, then it was just silence as people from the bar (not part of the wedding, but the bar was outside on the same floor) escorted him out. I really want to know what happened.
11. 'Til death do us part
Had a friend object at my first wedding.
He came right up to the altar, spouting off about all my shortcomings. Myself and my groomsmen all leveled our guns at him, but he just wouldn't shut up. So we fired.
He lay in a heap on the ground for the rest of the ceremony. Mind you, this was all planned. It was a pirate-y, renaissance-y wedding, and the guns were black powder (sans the shot, of course).
We all played our parts a bit too well, though... A few of the more gullible guests thought there'd been a legit murder at the wedding, at first. It was awesome.
12. Objection and rejection
Went to a co-workers wedding and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the "other woman."
She went on to say that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears and the groom immediately tried to declare his love for the maid of honor, but she told him she wasn't gonna hurt the bride further.
The bride is doing much better and is now a manager here, and I haven't heard from the groom in over a year. The maid of honor and bride are on speaking terms, but I don't think their relationship is ever going to be be what it used to be.
13. Daddy dearest
I only saw it once and it's not so much of a funny story, but here goes.
The father of the bride had been pretty absentee after her parents' divorce.
He had re-married, and him and his new wife got really into spirituality nonsense, and they were both pretty terrible people.
Anyway, the father came to the wedding, and it seemed like he was there to be supportive.
Then the father stood up during vows and proclaimed my friend was "an emotional black hole, just like her mother'" and the groom "should get out while he can, because she's a soul-leeching succubus."
Probably the worst wedding I ever went to.
14. Big, happy family
The groom himself.
He just stood up there and started crying and, in front of everyone, told the bride that he'd fallen out of love with her months ago, but he didn't know how to break it off.
It was extremely uncomfortable, they both stepped out and ten minutes later came back out and got married, because she'd apparently told him she was pregnant.
They're still together, with three kids, and I'm not sure about the husband but I can confirm that the wife is having an affair. Neither of them are happy, but she has a comfortable life and he doesn't have the spine to leave.
15. The preacher handled it well
This happened at one of my friend's sibling's weddings.
Her parents are super conservative and hadn't gotten the chance to know the daughter's fiance very well before they got married. In their minds, all that was relevant about him was that he had been previously divorced. They constantly made subtle comments that implied they weren't happy about it.
It should have been a forewarning of what was to come.
All was going well the day of the wedding, until the preacher asks the audience if anyone has objections. Dad of the bride stands up and says, "her mother and I object," and then after a beat, sits back down. Silence.
Not knowing exactly how to handle it, the preacher just says, "OK" and finishes the ceremony as planned.
16. Divorce lawyers
I witnessed one objection that was a joke and got a lot of laughs.
My friend's older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a judge who was a friend of theirs.
The groom and bride thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell, "I object!" to which the judge yelled "Overruled!"
It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don't think some of their family members got it.
I am dying to see the wedding video of it and not just the footage I caught on my cell phone.
17. Childhood friend melodrama
I was at a college friend's wedding when a childhood friend of the bride tried to stand up and profess his love for her. I think he may have been hitting the cocktail bar a little too hard, if you know what I mean.
The bride's father immediately stood up and tried to haul off the guy by the collar, except he was so angry he pulled too hard and ripped the collar of the guy's jacket clean off.
I laughed a little too hard when the dude screamed like a small girl, but I was not the only one. A few people even applauded.
18. Would you let this man marry your daughter?
My grandfather objected to my parents marrying in a humorous way, despite having given them his blessing.
My dad used play rugby, and would get beat up pretty bad. So my grandfather held up a photo of my dad at the wedding where my dad was sporting two black eyes and a missing front tooth. He asked the wedding crowd, "Would you let this man marry your daughter?"
20 years on, my grandfather moved houses. My dad mailed the new neighbourhood photos of my 70-year-old grandfather with pink dyed hair, with the caption, "Would you let this man live in your neighbourhood?"
We didn't find out till weeks later, and that's how I learned that revenge is a dish best served cold.
19. Destination wedding gone haywire
My brother got married at this resort in the Caribbean.
The only problem was that the ceremony was right in the middle of the resort, so you had loads of people swimming around during the ceremony. But one wedding that happened there, it got a bit... well... unpleasant.
So far as I know, there wasn't a "Speak now or forever hold your peace" bit, but some random guy in the sea next to the pier started yelling, "I object! I object!" over and over.
He probably would have gone away if they just ignored him, but the wedding party got angry and started shouting unrepeatable things back. Of course, they couldn't do anything because, well, short of jumping in the sea and wrestling him, what could they do?
20. What goes on behind the scenes
I managed a venue where a wedding was held that was featured on the show "Bridezillas."
The producers manipulated everything to make it more dramatic, to the point of telling the bride's sister that she had to object during that part of the ceremony.
The church where they held the ceremony wouldn't allow them to film there, so they faked the ceremony in one of our ballrooms, which is where the sister "objected." It kind of turned out to be one of those awkward moments where no one knows what to say or do, so they just kind of moved past it.
It was a great reception, but the crew were trying really hard to manufacture drama. It made me cringe to see it all.
21. Erupting nuptials
Mother Nature herself objected at a wedding I went to last year.
I was at an outdoor ceremony once, and the weather forecast predicted that a big storm would be coming in, right smack dab in the middle of the event.
The pastor was trying to move things along so that we wouldn't get caught in the rain (luckily, the reception was indoors, but we were running out of time). He asked if anyone knows of any objection, and instantly, there was a loud clap of thunder.
To his credit, the pastor just paused a moment and then said: "Anyone else? Alright, in that case..." and finished the ceremony.
22. They broke up over text
It wasn't really an objection, but I work wedding bars and I saw a wedding where the bride never turned up to the altar.
She texted the groom 15 minutes before the ceremony to say, "I'm not coming." It was super depressing. The family went ahead with the "party" and the groom ended up leaving early.
What had happened was the bride had spent all day with her parents the day before, and they apparently hated her husband to be and had convinced her not to show up. Last thing I heard was she came to his door the next morning and apologized, and they're still together as far as I know.
Man was that an awkward work night.
23. Mutual objection
The groom tried to object.
He had gotten the bride pregnant after a one-night stand, and both their parents had forced them to get married.
Even though I was a kid, I could tell that they were clearly disgusted by each other (they couldn't even kiss during the glass clinking).
The bride dragged her feet quite literally across the aisle. When the pastor asked if anyone objected the groom began to nervously whisper to him, shaking his head and gesturing towards the bride.
Both sets of parents got up and in loud whispers convinced him to go through with it. After a long, painfully awkward pause the ceremony continued.
I have been to a lot of weddings and seen a lot of drama but that was one of the worst.
24. Sealed with a fish
Mom got married to my stepdad, Uncle objected... After the attention was focused on him, he just asked if they were still going fishing afterwards.
To which my stepdad reached into his suit and pulled out his fishing hat. Very sweet and bromantic.