Years ago I tore the wrapping off a gift and found a "USB Toaster." The box promised "fresh on-the-go toast!" from any laptop's USB port --- in just 30 minutes.
Seriously? I thought. Well, no. It was all a gag: My better half had put a real gift inside a fake gift box sold by those jokesters at The Onion. The two of us ended up roaring over my initial befuddlement and the ridiculousness. "A USB toaster! What a riot!"
But now, the laugh's on us. Many actual "smart," convenient products on the market today seem just as silly --- including a couple of toasters. Here's a look at eight innovative items you never thought you'd need (because you don't).
1. A smart hairbrush
Along with your other sins, it turns out that you've been brushing your hair all wrong. Thankfully, the Kerastase Hair Coach is on the way, a brush that will team up with your smartphone to put you on a path toward better hair hygiene.
This hairbrush — dubbed one of the worst tech products of 2017 by multiple reviewers — will be priced at $200 and uses a microphone and conductivity sensors (I am not making this up) to give your hair a quality score and get all judgy about your brushing technique.
Warning: Putting yourself under that kind of pressure might give you split ends.